When Kim Kardashian first got famous she wasn’t wearing much. But people change with time. Let me see if I can do this like a rapper, such as her husband. Kim Kardashian recently said that she will be revealing less. At the behest. Of, you’ll never guess, her husband Kanye West. Let me explain. First of all, as observed by a reliable source (that’s what I say when I am using someone else’s joke and they won’t let me use their name — reliable source) you want to know where Kanye gets the nerve to tell people what not to wear, given that he is the one who tried to sell us sweaters full of holes. Before he started his new religious movement, he was holey in the wrongest way, with a fashion line that looked like he employed rats and roaches instead of sweatshop workers like a Kardashian is supposed to do. He married Kim Kardashian and created the sentence that follows: Kim is the more sensible one. In a recent interview with New York Magazine she said that she is dressing less sexily because husband Kanye thinks it is “overkill” and he is not “comfortable” with it. I mean the nerve of the man. Is he the one wearing skin tight skirts and six inch heels? Where does he come off talking about comfortable? Also, isn’t overkilling the whole point of slayage? Yes. Yes, it is. And Kim Kardashian was the original slay queen. Even if we didn’t see the infamous sex-tape that initially made her world famous, and of course we didn’t, because that would be immoral and we are not that sort of people, some of us were at least aware of Kim Kardashian due to the proliferation and popularity of internet and social media photographs of her in skimpy little outfits, mostly revealing her ample and shapely butt. Kim Kardashian was so well-recognised from the rear that one would halt at saying that she was a woman with a nice big butt, and adjust the statement to a nice big butt with a woman. It’s called objectification. Until the launch of the reality TV show about her and her family, Keeping Up With The Humans Associated With Kardashian’s Nice Big Butt, we were content to just objectify away. I’m sorry, but that’s just how trash we are. I have tried to watch the show and honestly, the butt is more interesting than her personality. I’m writing this from the dustbin. This butt was so powerful that even in an era when the internet, the showbiz tabloid sleaze sites, and social media were already saturated with Kardashian megabytes, a single photograph if it bare, bare and oiled up, taken for some bare oily butt magazine somewhere, was reputed to have “broken the internet”. I’m just saying, the world loves seeing Kim Kardashian revealingly clad. And now, here comes Kanye, spoiling things. He is so selfish. He wants to be the only one to see? Honestly, I can understand that. For the first time in years I can say those words about Kanye West: I can understand where he’s coming from. A lot of guys are not comfortable with guys checking out their girl. It makes them feel insecure. They get worried that if she is attractive to other men, what if one of them attracts her back and he loses her? Men are timid, cowardly, creatures full of self-doubt and fear. Such trash. But Kanye, Ima let you finish, but she chose you. She married you. Don’t worry about it. If Kim Kardashian-West wanted some other guy she would be with that guy right now, so relax. Get confident, stop panicking. She would have been Kim Kardashian-The Rock or Kim Kardashian-Elba or Kim Kardashian-Meddy. If she wanted to but she chose you, so chill. Chill and let her wear the tight little outfits so we can ogle again.
