(Let's Chat with Bella) If he is not ready don’t push him

Last week was a very interesting week for me. However, towards the end of it, I felt like someone had drained the energy from me. I did not want to do anything; not even eat. So I found a new hobby – watching TV shows. In all honesty, I have never watched these shows before but I guess once in a while, they help unwind and relief stress. I have been watching Basketball Wives and I can say that I have learned some lessons. These women have it all. They shop and hang out in the most exquisite places. Most of them have the privilege to fly to different parts of the country (and the world), something very hard for me to do with my limited cash flow. But the blow is that most of them are either divorced, almost divorced, separated or in a rocky relationship. One of the recently divorced ladies ended a ten year marriage with nothing to show for it. She burst out in tears in one of the episodes when another told her that she had not done enough to work on her relationship. That is not it. One lady had her ex-husband come visit her children after 15 years. This was very heart breaking as the teenagers watched them exchange words over who did not fight to save the marriage. One of the basketball players is now remarried and happens to treat his new wife better. He doesn’t cheat on her; he actually stays home with the kids as the wife works full time. Asked what caused this change seeing as his first marriage was a disaster and he didn’t seem to be committed to his wife or kids, he apologised to his ex wife with clear remorse for being a bad husband. He attributed his prior conduct to being emotionally unstable. He was married because it was what everyone else was doing and that made him look cool; but not because he wanted to be a husband. He was not ready to be a father and so he did not see the need to be there for his daughters. Ladies if a man says he is not ready do not push him. When men are ready they know what to do. Getting yourself pregnant is the worst thing you can ever do. He may be there physically because society expects him to but nothing will ever make him available emotionally as a husband.