Recently I sat down to an interview with a news source. This news source had come to our meeting place armed with the paperwork to this innovative and creative business idea that I was supposed to write about. Of course, I soon asked my source how she managed to conceive this beautiful idea, and do you want to know the reply I got from her? She said that the idea had first occurred to her a year earlier, by way of a “Divine Download”. I had heard of “divine revelations”, “heavenly visions” and such, but I have to admit, I had never imagined this contemporary description for a higher revelation. By revealing that her business idea had first struck her as a “divine download”, this lady had in essence merged together the heavenly (divine) with the technological (download). Clearly, this is the kind of gospel that ought to be propagated to today’s Godless, Tweeting, Facebooking and celebrity-worshipping young generation. Another time, a team of itinerant preachers (the kind that move from door-to-door, wielding bibles and peddling the gospel) cornered me at home. Apparently, the two were not only partners in preaching the gospel, they were a couple, too. And I only learnt that they were romantically attached when the woman, in the course of navigating through the scriptures, suddenly told me of how she and her dear husband were both gifted in “spiritual warfare”. But that’s as far as swag of born-again Christians is concerned. Otherwise, everyone has got their own style. I too have got my own swag, but since you should already know it by now, I won’t go into it here a second time. Instead, I will turn all my mental strength to laying bare the swag of “men-who-I-don’t-ever-want-to-be-like”. Who are these men that I don’t ever want to be like? It is the men who, in this day and age, still think that rearing a long sharpened nail on their small finger is okay with the rest of us who then have to bear the sight of your ghastly tallons. Another type of swag that I don’t ever want to be associated with is this thing whereby Celine Dion is the favourite singer of a fully grown man. I don’t know about every body else, but no, no, no…me and Celine Dion don’t mix! Then there is this new crop of energetic, good looking, able-bodied young men who wake up everyday, head to an improvised gym in the neighbourhood and lift weights that are sure to puff their chests up and enlarge their biceps. Why do they want to do all this? Well, it is so that some unfortunate, independent, corporate lady can fall for these well-toned biceps and then be so impressed by them that she will decide to fund the entire relationship, right from the ride, the drinks, the house, down to pocket money. FYI, these disgraces to mankind are called “gigolos”. Young man, you have strength, yes, but that is nonsense.
