Sex Education: Parents must wake up

Sex is a taboo in most households. A child normally learns about sex at school among his/her peers and in class. Parents should realise their responsibility of talking to their children about their body parts and how they should not be ashamed about being a young girl or boy. It is sad to note but parents often realise this when it is too late. You might ask yourself when is it too late to talk to your children about their body parts. Let me elaborate with an example. Michael is a 4-year-old, vibrant and energetic. He loves soccer and his mother is always scolding him because he comes home with dusty clothes. What you may not know is that at his age, Michael can be a victim to paedophiles. Many young adults’ first sexual encounter was not during their adolescent years but when they were in their childhood. The paedophile is not usually a stranger that larks in the dark corner waiting to catch your children when they coming home from school. No this person is a person that you welcome in your home and you highly respect because you trust him/her and tell your children only good things about them. This person can be an uncle, an aunt, even your close friends who are fond of visiting. The world is can be a bad place and parents need to educate their children so that they can protect themselves from the cruel world out there. The sexual violation of a child affects them for a lifetime. It can also define their sexual behaviour. The Parents believe that they are protecting their children by not talking about sex because talking about sex encourages them to experiment but not talking about sex makes your children more vulnerable to sexual violations. When I was young I was very lucky because at a young age my wise mother talked to me about my body parts. She told me where it is ok for someone to touch and where it is not. She referred to this as the good touches and bad touches. This was also reinforced in my primary school. My primary teachers told me about different types of abuse. My teacher told us about physical and sexual abuse. This helped me a lot. It made me aware that not everyone is there for my best interests. I knew that some body parts were private and no one could touch them. In addition to this, children tend to experiment with each other. Therefore because I was taught earlier on that some of my parts were private I knew that experimenting was not an option. I must emphasise that protecting children is the job of parents. By having an ‘uncomfortable’ conversation with your child about their body parts and how it is appropriate to children will make your child aware of how people act and protect them from disease like HIV/AIDS, other sexually transmitted diseases and the danger of paedophiles. So parents wake up, stop being naïve and thinking that your child is safe. The only evil person is the rapist and criminals that are not in the circle that you socialize with. Sexual predators are people that you will never suspect and believe are harmless to your children. Most of the time, parents are not at home when your children return from school. They are left with the domestic worker and could be vulnerable. Teach your child how to protect themselves. They should be able to speak out when any incident of abuse is experienced. Remember you may not be with them all the time to protect them. The writer is a Sociology student at the National University of Rwanda