Nobody enjoys a juicy story like I do - especially if the story is about someone I’m not so fond of. Those ones are just too hard to resist. However, even I know when to hold back sometimes. There is a chick that makes it a point to whisper in my ear every time she finds me – and if you think she is whispering about a new job or her plans to go to Church on Sunday, you are on crack. This girl has told me pretty much everything. When I’m with her, I feel like a walking encyclopedia! Finding her without a story to tell is as dodgy as the sight of a nun with dreadlocks! I mean how does knowing that a neighbour (not even mine) was caught sneaking in a prostitute into his house concern me exactly? It is his house for crying out loud (although I don’t really get why he was sneaking) but hey, I’m not his landlord, so he can sneak in prostitutes, snakes or even freaking werewolves for all I care! I spent two months without bumping into my ‘informant’ and I can tell you now, it was the best two months I’ve ever had. But just when I thought life was finally through messing with me, the gossiper of the century waltzed into my life. Allow me to emphasise that much as gossip isn’t very fashionable, when a man does it, it reaches the PhD of all disasters.This dude gossips so much that he is now repeating stories. Recently, he edited an old story, probably hoping I had developed a sudden case of amnesia and therefore wouldn’t remember the original version. He once told me that the hot intern at his workplace was ‘squeezing the eye for him’ - and by that he meant winking suggestively. He then went ahead with his amnesia assumptions and told me that the hot intern was in fact gay and she had told him this from day one. So, why the lesbian was ‘squeezing the eye’ for this clown is what I’ll never understand. The joker wasn’t finished. He harassed me into being friends with him on Facebook because he is quite the entertainer – his words not mine. I can assure you I tried every excuse in the book, going as far as telling him my BlackBerry subscription had been cancelled. Didn’t he send the friend request right there and then? He then logged out and handed me the phone to log in and accept! As if on gun point, I accepted the bloody request and he immediately asked me to check out his wall. Dude was their busy liking his own statuses and comments and photos, a move I desperately despise! The second I got home, I blocked the fool. Nonsense just!
