Enter Commando parenting!

Please tell me you have challenges too. Seriously, the sweetest words I could hear today are that you (or anyone else for that matter) are out of your wits trying to figure out how to discipline your elementary school, over opinionated, outspoken-beyond-anyone’s good, six-year-old-going-on-twenty-five child! Yes it is a mouthful but this child is so strong willed sometimes I find it all - consuming! Parenting is about negotiating, but often it can turn into a downright power struggle. The little terrors seem to want to argue about almost every thing! They refuse to eat what you so lovingly prepared (sometimes), they intentionally “forget” to do their homework, they will not sleep when they are supposed to, or keep their rooms tidy, clear the toys, brush their teeth…The list goes on. Sometimes children seem to be designed to drive you crazy and push you to the edge, always finding new ways to out-manoeuvre you and try your patience. A friend of mine recently recommended that I try “commando parenting”. I had never come across the term before but after hearing him explain how it works, I realised that I have indeed witnessed it before even though I may not agree with it entirely. But what is Commando parenting? Commando parenting is about totally immersing yourself in the “whatever-it-takes mentality”. You must be willing to do anything and everything to get the child to do it your way. One of the key instruments of commando parenting is recruiting all persons involved in the care of the child to also take on the “whatever-it-takes” attitude so that the commando attitude is sustained even in your absence. Commando parenting isn’t for the faint-hearted just as it isn’t for every child. It is usually reserved for and is most effective for the “problem child”. When your child is screaming, hitting, bullying, throwing temper tantrums or if your child’s behaviour is out of control and nothing you do is working, then it is probably time to try commando parenting! Extreme behaviour patterns are usually a bright red alert for dysfunctional behaviour and you will need to shake things up so that you can create positive change. This is as much for your own good as well as the good of your child’s future; no one likes to deal with an ill-mannered, uncontrolled brat with no respect for authority. The four key things to remember in commando parenting, (these are not negotiable at all): Strip back to basic needs Strip them of all luxuries and leave them with what they need to survive. There’s a sense of entitlement with spoiled children and they need to learn that their toys, games and phones are privileges. Don’t back down Set the rules and stick to them. A child must understand that bad behaviour has consequences. If you don’t enforce those consequences, you will confuse them. Be prepared for war Be prepared to tough it out. A child will often resort to tantrums or rebellious behaviour to try and wear down your resolve. Reward good behaviour Always reward and acknowledge responsible behaviour with positive attention. A hug, kiss, cuddle or compliment will suffice. But if they revert back to their bad behaviour, don’t be afraid to start all over again. Good luck to us all!