The Hater: Of these useless technical jargons

Language is basically a tool for communication. If I was to put this any simpler, we are expected to understand and be understood. Unfortunately, there are some people among the human species that think they will appear cooler if they made this process a little more difficult for others. Look here, Mr I-went-to-school-and-got-a-degree-in-this: you need to stop speaking in a way that guarantees you space in this column. If you want to speak using technical jargon then hang around those who you studied with only. It is bad enough that doctors write like they are being electrocuted but it is saddening that at social gatherings they see nothing wrong with talking about things that can only be understood by fellow doctors. I am not going to ask you what intravenous catheter means because I came for a cocktail not a diploma in tropical medicine. If you work with an NGO then please don’t talk about capacity building and empowerment when you know I am even stronger than you. Yes, I am sick and tired of hearing you go on and on about how we need a SWOT before we define the beneficiaries. And by the way, do entertainers know how much they confuse me when they say I should attend their show at Serena Hotel because they will bring the roof down? Have you guys even seen the roof you are talking about? Imagine if it comes down while I am trying to do the Azonto? One of these days I am going to slap the IT guy at work. Each time I call him to fix a problem he starts with a boring speech on what the problem is. That in itself is not bad if I really knew the difference between a virus, spyware, malware, spamware, bugs and bots. I am not sure why I need to listen to all this only for him to press CTLR + ALT + DEL! The worst people when it comes to annoying technical jargon are the politicians. There is nothing technical about winning elections and so I do not understand why they have to keep telling me the plans they have for the people and what is the difference between the people and the common man? And how come I have never met this common man you keep talking about? Since most politicians tend to be lawyers then I must admit I am tired of being reminded about what the constitution has to say. But that is not as bad as when lawyers switch to Latin. Okay, I admit I don’t know what prima facie and subpoena mean but do you really have to mention amicus curiae? I have a lot of respect for soldiers but it quickly fades when I am conversing with one and he starts talking about how a battalion withdrew from combat after an operation to rescue a POW who was MIA after being caught behind enemy lines. Afande, no offence but I was not at that cadet course with you so please cut the battle front lingo. Oh, by the way, even journalists need to stop talking about by-lines, captions, leads, side bars, vox pop and sources. I repeat, we are all here for a cocktail not a breaking news story. We need to communicate with simple language, especially when not among our professional peers.