What’s it going to be? Friends or lovers?

It goes like this: friend likes friend. Friend eventually finds out. Friends then decide to date. But in real life, if clear lines are not drawn in the relationship, it usually ends up a total disaster. With friends, there will always be chemistry. But imagine this, work is great, your apartment is finally fabulously decorated, you’re having the time of your life generally. Then BAM!!! Your friend hits you with the news that he’s interested in you. He may not verbalise it but his actions tell you everything you need to know. It comes when you least expect it, especially with the one friend you never thought about romantically! So now you’re left with the task of figuring out whether or not to take the risk and jeopardise your friendship, or remain as plutonic as possible with the revelation left tucked away at the back of your mind. It’s important to know that if you choose to go out, you are totally forgoing the friendship you have. Even if you can go back to being friends if things don’t work out, it will never be the same. If one party gets more serious about the other, things will get messy. A friend of mine started dating a friend after he broke up with his girlfriend. Before he asked her out she was never interested in him romantically. But once they started seeing more of each other she really began to like him. Then he just pulled away emotionally. They said they’d continue to be friends, but it wasn’t the same. The friendship was officially messed. A main factor in the success of a relationship is the foundation laid and the expectations of both parties. Unless both people plan on being serious, it is a bad idea. Trading a great friendship for a few good romps between the sheets isn’t wise. While romance tends to happen quickly these days, friendships seem to be lasting shorter and forming at a much slower pace. Dating a friend can be exciting but it calls for maturity, purpose driven moves and selflessness - looking beyond the hormone. However, it doesn’t always end badly. You don’t have to worry about figuring out if you’ll get along. You already know so much about each other. You don’t have to hide your less desirable side like farting and donning worn out knickers! Be careful. Friends forget the wonderful experiences they shared before they got involved romantically, and fail to see the fantastic qualities that made them like the person to begin with.