Diaspoman: Miss Rwanda has made us proud!

It was music in our ears when we heard that our very own Miss Rwanda by the names of Aurore Umutesi had clinched the Miss Pan Africa Music Festival (FESPAM) crown in Congo Brazzaville! This is a very good thing because we all know how beautiful and brilliant our ladies are! Rwanda has come a long way indeed! How can I ever forget the mid-90s when Aggrey and I once attempted to select some miss Rwandas to assist us in our pub which was located on the Kicuciro highway! The name of our pub was Tip Top joint. Aggrey and I were the shareholders as well as the Board members. In fact, we also were the managers of this Kicuciro joint, whose main services were to sell frothy products from Bralirwa. Our moto in this bar was “To turn dry and thirsty throats into wet ones”. Tip Top was also designed to turn well respected persons of society into real drunkards. Those men of society were supposed to enter Tip Top joint in a well composed fashion, but return to their homes staggering and singing praises to their creator. Well, once the idea had now been well conceived and acted upon, we sat down to strategise. How were we going to achieve our goals of changing upright thinking human beings into cabbages? Although it was evident that products from Bralirwa would serve this purpose, it was the “how” and not the “what” that bothered us so much. We had to figure out a way on how to maximise profits by having our clients dip their fingers in their pockets to pull out bundles of white and green crispy dollar notes! There could be one way only. Employ staff wisely. Search for local miss Rwandas! So, Aggrey and I went on a headhunting spree. During the mid-90s, the night club labour market was in the advanced stage. That is why we found ourselves heading towards a night club named Vertigo. Sometimes, we referred to it as La Villa. We had been told about this hot spot, being a favourite joint for foreigners. Most of them were expatriates or heads of NGOs. This is where the real cash was. And this is where the ladies hanged around in hopes of hooking up with an expatriate, who would possibly fulfill her dreams of getting her that most sought for visa for Canada. Since we could not offer visas for Canada or Belgium, we tried to convince some of these ladies to come and work for us at Tip Top Joint in exchange for real dollars. Some of the ladies shunned us. But some desperate ones agreed to consider our offer. So, amid the loud booming disco music and thick cigar smoke, we managed to shortlist four desperate candidates for the job. The conditions for winning were that the candidate had to show the ability to communicate in both English and French and also be real material for a Miss Rwanda. After rounds of verbal interviews, in which the candidates rapped in very broken English and “torn” French, we confirmed the candidates and asked them to report to work the next day. It was the following day that we realised how true the following phrase can be; Good from far but far from good. When these candidates arrived at Tip Top Joint, we were shocked to the core. Not only were they very ugly; they were somewhere into their late forties! Indeed, the disco lights of Vertigo had completely fooled our eyes! Today, things have changed. People are dignified. Pure beauty coming from both the outside and the inside. The brain power is sharp! Thanks to our Miss Rwanda. You have made us so proud!