Do not fight in front of the kids

Esther, my best friend in primary, said her parent’s fought so much that she avoided them as much as possible. Whenever the school day ended, while most of us rejoiced at the thought of going back home, Esther wished she could stay at school. Adelaide Isingizwe, a mother of one, says that parents should always resolve their conflicts in the absence of their children. “Children should be raised in a peaceful environment even when parents have misunderstandings. It is important to be discreet,” she says. The 24-year-old, also a resident of Kimihurura, adds that some adults quarrel in the presence of young children thinking the child is too young to understand what is going on. “Children that are raised in abusive families may also grow up to be violent in their later years. So I appeal to my fellow parents to always avoid fighting or quarrelling in the presence of their children because their behaviour affects their children,” Ishingizwe emphasises. Parental quarrels and fights cause bonding disorders in children. It’s sad that some parents quarrel in front of their children because they are so consumed with anger and they don’t realise the consequences of such acts. Bonding disorder in children commonly causes difficulty establishing relationships with peers and in most cases, the child becomes a loner. Most child psychologists have frequently said that a strong bond amongst parents greatly boosts a child’s mental health and social adjustment. With the fact that parents are every child’s hero, when a child sees them fight, chances are high that they will keep to themselves and that comes with several dangers. An article by Shannon Philpott, ‘Do Arguing Parents Affect Young Kids?’ shows that when a child witnesses an out-of-control argument by parents, it may affect the child’s sense of security and development of self-control. The article further indicates that Dr. Tamar Chansky, Philadelphia based psychologist and author of “Freeing Yourself from Anxiety,” describes arguments between parents as toxic emotional litter for their children. The expert also says that the de-stabilising issue for children is when there is unresolved or unfinished conflict or hostility between parents.