Men Talk: It’s not exciting anymore!

I’ve been dating for three years now. We’ve broken up and patched things up again a couple of times but I feel like the spark is gone. Honestly, we have been through a lot together and he hasn’t done anything to hurt me but I’m just not feeling the relationship anymore. I don’t have any other guy in my life but I really want to end this because it’s the sensible thing to do. However, I don’t know how to. Please help me guys. Alicia, 28 Hold on to your man. This happens in every relationship. Do you intend to end every pending relationship the second sparks stop flying? What next? You’ll simply move on to the next? What is it that you love? Are the sparks the most important thing to you or is it your boyfriend? Your love for him should come before any sparks because sparks are not the answer to a great relationship. It seems he is a good person because you said “you‘ve been through a lot together and he hasn’t done anything to hurt you”. Many people are not as fortunate as you and never find that kind of relationship. Just know that every relationship is bound to go through times like these and this is where great relationships sail through. Think about this long and hard before you make a decision you’ll regret. Martin, 29, single *** Well, if he had treated you badly, I would have told you to throw bad words at him. But, according to you, he has been a cool guy so he deserves a respectable farewell. There’s no easy way to do this. A phone call is disrespectful so don’t even think about it. Emails and texts are in the same category. The only decent way is to do it face to face. Face him and tell him how you feel. Let him know that he deserves someone who wants to be with him…but right now that person isn’t you. This may be difficult for him. Maybe if you’re lucky, he may feel the same way but because he is a nice guy, he doesn’t have the heart to tell you. If you’re really lucky, he’ll be relieved and you can relax and start your new individual journeys as friends. If he is crushed by your decision to end the relationship, tell him how sorry you are. If he insists on how much he loves you, ask him if he would be happy with someone who doesn’t love him back. Patrick, 21, in a stable relationship *** Alice, I don’t think that you are asking us to help you ‘reactivate’ your relationship, are you? Despite the fact that you are still ‘physically’ in the relationship it seems that ‘mentally’ you have already moved on. It seems to me that you feel rather guilty about abandoning the relationship but you mustn’t feel that way. Not every couple is destined to hear wedding bells. It is just the way it is. I think that you should talk to your partner about your feelings in a firm, but compassionate way. He probably knows that there is something amiss already. Better to be straight with him than string him along. That way you will go your separate ways as friends, not enemies. Lincoln, 32, lives with girlfriend