Don’t fool yourself girl; if you don’t have money, you can’t talk

I wish I were talented enough to put this in a nice, flowery tone. I wish I didn’t have to break it down for you ladies out there and not hurt anyone’s feelings but that’s never really been my style. I am tired of young women racing off to get married with nothing to their name except the underwear on their buttocks. The other day I went to a wedding for one of my many cousins. He was marrying a young woman who still hadn’t even finished her 4th year of university and you could tell it was a wedding that didn’t have a big budget. I’m not saying weddings have to be huge and glamorous but at least let me not die of thirst because you only gave me one soda. Anyways, one of my younger second cousins came to say “hi” (and of course to ask when my nuptials would take place). I told her to calm down, adding that she would know when it was close to happening. She responded by telling me that one of our other cousins was getting married soon and that I should hurry up, which I laughed at. The cousin she was mentioning is just finishing university and she’s 25 years old. She still asks her older brothers for money for school, food and transport. I was happy to hear she was getting married because I assumed she was much older and had been employed for a bit. I was shocked to learn she is doing her final university exams this month and getting married three months later! I rarely get heated about things that don’t really concern me but I made an exception. Her family begged her, in vain, to wait a bit and work to earn some money for the wedding. This young woman is assuming she will have her wedding paid for by her brothers and uncles and move from her university dorm into her man’s house. WHERE WAS HER SENSE OF INDEPENDENCE! People may wonder why I’m taking this so seriously. Well if you have worked with women who have been subjected to not just physical but mental abuse because they do not contribute a single Franc to the household you would know why I feel this way. I’m not saying all men turn into controlling monsters but why wait to find that out? Why not enter marriage as an equal partner? This young woman is setting herself up to be the girl who has to ask her husband for money every single day to buy household stuff and transport to go for many work interviews out there. She is simply a non-voting member in the home. Without even going far into the way her marriage life will be but where is your sense of responsibility and pride? Will you put your sexy honeymoon lingerie on the wedding budget for your uncle to pay for? Why not wait for a bit and be able to afford to give your guests more than one soda? Well at the end of the day if you are ready to get married go ahead but our Rwandan society needs to stop associating finishing university with marriage or calling non-married woman 25 years and over ‘old’. I just hope young women stop all of this craziness and learn to be themselves after university and really think about life BEFORE marriage. They need to start seeing marriage as just another step in their journey and not the one and only step. What do you ladies think?