Weak at the knees in Uganda

I haven’t been in the country since Friday, so don’t expect any tales of the Ugly Munkiz and the Shady bar this time around. I’ve been visiting probably the dustiest capital city in East Africa, Kampala. If you think I’m stretching the ‘dustiest’ label then you should hear me sneeze my brains out. Since I got back to clean Kigali people are looking at me like I got a bit of the Bird Flu…I’m suffering that much. So, here I am, at my desk, sniffing away but with a smile on my face. Why? Because I’ve finally found the never ending bottle of beer! Hahaha, seriously, I’m singing despite my bleary eyes because I met probably the hottest Ugandan lady on my journey…and promptly fell head over heels for her. First of all, I’d like to state that despite my earlier statements about Ugandan ladies (I called them hideous the last time I went over there), this lady I met would give some of the ladies here a run for their money. How did I meet this, oh so rare, creature? In a kwangula (that’s a gusaba- introduction ceremony). Don’t even think that I fell for the bride (although I have to say that she was gorgeous). So, there I was, bored to tears as the ceremony went right over my head (I couldn’t understand a word they said) when, to my enjoyment, a ritual parading of the brides entourage turned into a beauty pageant of sorts. Trust me to get as excited as a pig in mud. I felt like a child in a toy store…but these girls weren’t anything to toy with. Honestly though, one girl stood out like a sore thumb; dark and elegant, with a naughty look in her eye…I could read my name all over face. It was like she had a sign saying “dare to…if you are man enough”. I couldn’t resist the temptation. It was hard to keep in my seat until she went back into the house…as soon as I saw her enter I left my seat and accosted her. I introduced myself as a foreigner in her land (I’ve learnt that people are nicer to you if you say that) and quickly started flirting like my life depended on it. Let me tell…this girl was fire. She didn’t let me play my game in peace…I was surprised that, despite her lovely looks, she had well hidden claws. That is, of course, before she unleashed them on my poor hide. By the time she was done with me, I felt like I’d done a few rounds with a lioness and had the scars to prove it. Ever heard of the ‘iron fist in a velvet glove’? Whoever coined that phrase must have met her! But I can’t lie…bruised and battered I might have become but I put my heart in her hands. So, if you don’t see me for awhile…just know I’m in Kampala…dust or not. Contact: madogz2002@yahoo.ca