Real life: Walking in the shoes of Kigali’s gigolos

Abapfubuzi is a local term used for male sex workers. These men, who live in the shadows, don’t hang out or escort their clients to social gatherings or outings. They are strictly ‘sexperts’-hired to give nothing but sexual satisfaction. Many people think that these men are the glue that holds some marriages together. When a woman is dissatisfied sexually (because her husband has a low libido, obese or has a sexual dysfunction) instead of living the sad life or getting divorced, she goes for a ‘fix’ and comes back home smiling from ear to ear – ready to take care of her husband and kids. But how much do these sexual ninjas earn? Where are they found? How do they feel about their job? I couldn’t resist the urge to find out. Since one can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs, I couldn’t get material for this article without stepping into the shoes of the Abapfubuzi. My initial research showed that one of the most popular places to wait for clients happened to be the taxi stage near Sky Hotel while the other was at Muteremuko, near Sulfo Industries. I chose to try my luck at the latter and see how far my good looks and charm could get me.Day One: MuteremukoTime check: 3:20pm. Dressed in casual Friday attire, I left my home looking good and ready to conquer. At least that’s how I felt before I reached the place. I ignored the nauseous feeling creeping up my belly and scanned the place for a competitor but luckily saw no one.As the day progressed, I suffered enough humiliation to last me a lifetime. I got the feeling that everyone knew this particular spot and why it was infamous. Some men looked at me in disgust, like, ‘Dude you are an embarrassment to the male species,’ while women gave me the demeaning ‘up and down’ look. Three hours later I still hadn’t been approached. By this time, I wasn’t alone. I was joined by two guys, a dark skinned dude in his late twenties and his partner in business or crime, also around the same age. “You are new, huh?” the dark one asked. I stammered, “Yes, I’m new.” After a brief exchange of questions, he said his name was Jamal Claude. He gave ame a firm handshake. There was nothing sleek or smooth about them.After a couple of minutes, he said he needed to change location. He hurried off, leaving his buddy and myself to the vicious, cut-skin cold jeers from passersby. I waited for a couple of more hours but it seemed I was lucky. Day Two: Near Sky HotelI was dressed in a pair of calfskin moccasins, a well-pressed pair of khakis, a black shirt and a white cashmere sweater with expensive cologne to complete the ‘Tiger Woods’ look. Armed with a copy of Ebony Magazine, I sat at the little taxi shelter, my heart filled with both excitement and fear. As I read the magazine, a scrawny kid tapped my shoulder. “Someone wants to talk to you,” he pointed at a cream-colored Lexus parked just metres away. Due to the first day’s disappointment, I had little hope of getting picked, so when the kid pointed to the car, I thought – and feared above all - it was someone who knew me.Seeing the lady quickly took away any worries of being ‘spotted’. I don’t know why I started staring or where the sweat came from! “Hi! I need your help. My friend and I are kind of lost. Would you jump in and show us around if you are not too busy?” she asked. I peeked in the back seat and saw that the other woman was even more beautiful than the one driving. I made up my mind. “Just a minute,” I said. I turned and walked to the shelter to pick up the magazine. Before I knew it I was in the car heading to Nyamirambo with the two ladies. Call me a coward, but when they suggested a ‘threesome’ at their place, I panicked. Surprisingly, when I told them I wasn’t comfortable doing what they wanted me to, they were okay with it. They even offered to drop me anywhere I wanted to go and asked for my phone number, which I was more than happy to do. I gave them my boss’s number! After all, he is the one who sent me on this kinky assignment. *** Interview: A gigolos confession -- “Treat a client like a friend, not a lover!” Mark* is one of the most respected mupfubuzi in Kigali. With seven years in the business, he was more than happy to reveal his story in good English. “I came from a poor family in the village. I never knew my father, so it was always my siblings and I. I started work at an early age. As the first born, I had to do whatever it took to support my family and educate my siblings. In Kigali, I worked as an office messenger, waiter and later as a masseuse. I learned a lot about myself during that time. I learned that I could adapt to things I didn’t like very fast! I also learned that if you want to get something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done,” he says. “I remember one night; one of my wealthiest customers asked me to go home with her that night. Though she was old and ugly, the money was good. She gave me five times what I earned as a salary at the parlour. She also hooked me up with other rich women,” said a very determined Mark. According to Mark, business and emotions cannot mix. “Its okay to treat a client like a friend, but never as a lover! The last thing a Mupfubuzi needs is an obsessed client. It’s better if you keep it professional. If you take it beyond, you risk getting hammered by your client’s husband,” he warns He was more than happy to share some advice “Use protection at all times. Some clients ask you not to, and promise to give you more money if you go ‘live’, but don’t listen to them. Love your life more than cash. Always tell your clients the price before hand. Never use drugs like Viagra. To be able to have sex that often, exercise, eat healthy and get enough sleep. If you are a beginner, test yourself. Go out, find the ugliest girl in the bar and sleep with her when you are sober. If you feel okay about it, you are good to go”. “You need to think about your clients as people who are fed up of the usual routine. For this reason, you need to be versatile when giving your services because simply looking handsome and being smooth is not enough for them. He added, “I don’t know about others but personally I do not sleep with more than two clients a day. The demand is really high but I turn some clients away. After all, the quality of my work and customers’ satisfaction is of utmost importance. Usually, the duration of my job is an hour.” Is he ashamed of this trade? “Many people despise me and they find it disgusting and morally and socially unacceptable but how many will help you pay your bills? I do what feels right to me; after all, it’s impossible to please every human being”, he ends.