Enough with the wacky deals!

Minutes ago, I got a text from the network I’m prescribed to telling me how I can now talk all night for only 1 rwf/min. I’m sure they meant well and hoped I would jump up and down in excitement but all it did was piss me off. Seriously, what would I be doing talking all night instead of enjoying that natural, most awesome thing called sleep? And what are they waiting for to give me that deal when my eyes are not heavy with snooze - preferably when I’m down on credit and have only about 10 francs keeping my phone warm? Also, this business of offering me silly discounts on calls…dude…just give me free calls…even if it’s for an hour! I speak with a lot of beef because in the two years I have been on this network, I have never been given any! My mother always taught me to fight for what I believe in, and I do believe I deserve some free calls (this isn’t some sort of trick to get free calls by the way, I’m seriously pissed).As for the bars that tell you to buy two drinks and get one free – yeah about that… I’m more than capable of buying myself that one free drink you are offering me. I understand its business but can’t you at least offer me brochette or some ribs? Now that’s a deal. The other day, I was doing what I do best – window shopping – and I entered this shoe store. This was quite extraordinary for me because I usually like pouncing on hawkers and bargaining till the last possible price. So I started checking out shoes I have no intention of buying, going as far as trying them on and walking around the place. The sales lady came out and showered me with compliments. Since I live for compliments, I decided to try on some more pairs to the excitement of the lady thinking she’d scored a ‘serious’ customer. I asked the price and what she told me almost made me choke on the gum I was chewing. I acted casual but I think she could see it in my eyes because she quickly told me it was negotiable. Since I live for bargains too, we went right to it. I suspect they hadn’t made that much or perhaps they buy them real cheap then come and sell them at alarming prices because I was given the deal of the century. If I took the shoes that I had bargained for so passionately, I would get a free pair of wedges. Considering I had used my special skills in bargaining to the fullest, another pair of shoes didn’t sound so bad…as a matter of fact, I bit on my lower lip when they made me the deal. It was all I could do to stop myself from swallowing my gum in disbelief! Now that’s a deal…