Abapfubuzi: Marriage saviours or wreckers?

THEY ARE suave, adventurous good-looking young men usually between the ages of 25 and 30. They are very appealing and could charm the hell out of a nun. Although many hang in places like nightclubs, spas and resorts and are frequented by wealthy women, the majority prefer to work as call-guys. If you are a married woman living in Kigali and you haven’t heard of them, then probably all is well with your marriage or you hang with secretive friends. But given the degree of discretion they operate with, who can blame you?Unlike gigolos who are calculating con artists and play on the emotions of gullible women in need of companionship, affection and sex, Abafubuzi or call them ‘maintenance men, are professional! They don’t escort rich women to functions, they don’t dress in designer suits or brag about how they earn their dime.They strictly provide sex for money! Of course, they are good in bed - from plenty of practice. And it’s what they do for a living, remember? They are also attentive, they listen (or at least pretend to) and pay compliments. To some people, these guys are heaven sent and to others they are marriage wreckers. There are many married women who are sexually starved for various reasons; some have ‘one minute men’ for husbands, others have men less endowed where it matters the most, some husbands are too fat to do the job - either out of shape or have a low sex drive.But as you know, there are some needs that can’t be ignored. This is how these guys come in handy. Some of these starved well-to-do women with metallic nerves choose get services from them. After being serviced, they go back home to their husbands in high spirits – and a happy woman is a happy home!Although this works for some women, to others, especially those with weak hearts, it’s a recipe for disaster. We all know it’s harder for women to have casual sex than it is for men. (sorry we are wired differently.) Most women get emotionally attached with sex, so they end up falling in love and because they are loaded with cash, they think everything is possible. They try to rent apartments for them, shower them with cash and gift, hoping to date them fully. But they forget that you can’t turn a w#@*$% into a housewife. To be honest, if you don’t have the guts to dump him, don’t bother getting to know him. A man like this will only drain your pockets. After he’s done, he’ll walk off with the highest bidder.