The Men Respond: I asked him on a date, should I pay the bill?

Guys, I have asked a guy out on a date whom I have a crush on and I believe the feeling is mutual. He could not approach me first because I’m his employer’s daughter; so I took the initiative of asking him out. What should I do? Should I expect him to pay the bill, or should I pay? Or should we split it? Thank you. Gisele, 28 The first thing you should know is that the guy will be super excited that you took the first steps asking him out. This means a lot to him; it shows him that you’re the kind of girl who is uniquely exceptional and courageous. And that’s exactly what most dudes want to see in a woman. They need to be assured that the woman they are dating isn’t just a princess — but also someone who will go with them hand in hand towards prosperity. So, no man needs a high-maintenance girl. But with the macho culture of some of Rwandan men, it’s probable that he’ll of course need to run the show. Let him propose a restaurant that he finds suitable for both of you. Don’t forget that you’re the boss’s daughter; please let him act like he’s the one who has invited you, the one who’s going to take care of everything. By the time the bill comes, he’ll never care whether you are the one going to pay or not — his mind will at this time be busy envisioning the goodnight kiss awaiting him when he walks you home. I know you’ll also be happy to have played your part taking care of the bill, right? Good luck. - Eric, 31, a married father of one -- I’m imagining being the boss’ daughter you’re used to a life that is not exactly the same as this dude’s. You could be used to going for dates in hotels that he just dreams of stepping in. And on the other hand, you may not feel cosy having this guy take you in a cheap restaurant (which he can afford) for a date. Well, if that is the case, why not pay the bill if you want to go to a place you are comfortable with? There is totally no problem in paying the bill more so when you’re the one that proposed the idea. Maybe he wanted to ask you out as well but was scheduling it for the end of the month when his pockets are a bit healthy, and you’ve taken him by storm in the middle of the month. Don’t make him have a million excuses not to go on the next date; it’s always ok to pay the bill more so when you are the one that choose the venue. But if you’re ok with him taking you to the place where he usually eats with his fellow guys, well and good, you can expect him to pay. - Patrick, 21, in a long-term relationship -- First of all, I can only hope that the fact that you are the boss’s daughter won’t cause him to lose his job. What assurance do you have that your father won’t fire him if he finds out that the two of you are dating? Some strict fathers will rather go to jail than have their daughters date the ‘Help’. Plus, are you ready to see him at your dad’s place of work if the relationship goes belly up? Now that the date is on, I think that the best way forward is to split the bill. If he initiated the date then he’d have paid the totality of the bill. Since it was yours, split it. Paying it yourself in its entirety would make the fellow feel uncomfortable. The male ego would not allow it. - Lincoln, 32, lives with his girlfriend