How to help a grieving partner

During this Genocide Commemoration week, there are those whose partners may have lost loved ones, and are therefore grieving. This being a delicate moment, their significant other has to take extra caution so as to help them through. Staying close may really help. No one really knows how to deal with death and despite the fact that your first instinct would be to give your partner space; they really do need your presence more than they ever. Try to keep them occupied but keep it simple. Give them a temporary escape even if only for a few hours. During this time, your partner may have little energy for sexual or emotional intimacy. If they don’t want to make love, then only offer light physical contact such as kisses, hugs and massages to get them through. If you have never been a good listener, please for once be. Unless your partner asks for your opinion on the matter, listen to what they have to say without interruption. Whether they are rehashing the horrible details of their loved one’s end or discussing their hurt and anger over the situation, all you should do is be there for them. Try not to compare your experiences of losing dear ones to theirs. Grief is not a competition and people deal with it in their own different ways. Just sit quietly and listen. Be patient and don’t judge them, grief is very complex and may seem ever-lasting. You have to be patient and understanding because it doesn’t matter if it’s a week, month or year, your partner will deal with bouts of depression and crying every now and then. Don’t make them feel ashamed that they can’t move on. Tell them they can take all the time they need and if need be, offer to attend grief counsel sessions with them. If the grief is hitting them hard and they can’t concentrate on work, they will need a professional to get them through the pain.