I hate people who…

…are always donating phantom gifts. I enjoy attending social functions especially when I partake in the food and drinks. But as The Hater nothing pisses me off more than the phantom gifts that people promise once they get a chance to speak. Almost on cue, everyone holding the mic will gladly announce how he has donated a cow (muhaye inka) to the main celebrant but little often happens beyond the announcement. This habit of promising in public but not delivering in public ought to stop. Do not promise what you won’t deliver. There is no rule that says holding a microphone means you have to donate livestock even when you do not have it. …adopt lousy names hoping we won’t notice. I think some people think that being a celebrity is an opportunity to exercise their stupidity publically. Before I confuse you I would like someone to explain to me how a musician can decide to call himself “Senderi International Hit” and we all pretend nothing is wrong. What kind of green stuff do some of these people smoke these days? How does one add International hit to his name when even his local music is not fit to be termed as a hit. The last time I checked there was not song by Senderi that can be referred to as international or a hit. I think I should stop hating and just offer this fellow a new dictionary as an Easter gift.…think they are immortal because of the jobs they do. I really appreciate the wonderful work done by the Rwanda National Police and I hope that appreciation will serve to cushion me for what I am about to say below. Yes I really hate some of you. I particularly hate police officers who think that wearing that uniform means they cannot die? I am talking about the so called Afandes that I see almost every day driving without wearing seatbelts. I am not even interested in whether being custodians of the law means that you are above the law. My question is whether being a police officer means that you are immortal? I thought you guys were supposed to lead by example. …think their heads can compete with the rainbow. I have really failed to understand some people’s sense of fashion. And this misunderstanding has gotten to a very annoying level of late. I just don’t know how some part time thinkers hope to get away with playing with their hair until it looks like an undecided rainbow. Hair usually comes in one natural colour until it starts greying due to age. So for you to think you can have all the colours in crayon box represented in your hair just serves to show how calm The Hater is for I cannot explain why I have not been allowed to punch such people in the teeth. I hope you are stung by bees thinking your hair is one big flower. …tempt me into insulting them. There are those tense moments when your mind is expecting something in particular only for someone to bore you with something totally different and annoying. The other day I was looking at the calendar and realised that it was actually time for me to be paid for the immense work I put in, hating annoying fellows in our society. So I started looking keenly at my phone expecting that now famous sms alert informing me that there is money on my account. Instead the fools behind this facility thought the best way to piss me off before Easter was to send “Did you know you can access BK services on your mobile phone?” Instead of telling me about my salary you are sending quiz questions now? What nonsense is this now?Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or text me at +250 788 545293The Hater