We need more traffic jams

“TRAFFIC” AND “KIGALI” are two words that do not particularly mix and match very well. In fact, those in the know, and here I mean those people with comparative knowledge of the traffic situation in other East African states insist that there is no such thing as traffic jam in Kigali. At least not in the classical sense of the word, and not when compared to the jams in, say, Kampala and Nairobi. Of course that does not negate the fact that Kigali too experiences its traffic horrors. A jam is a jam, after all. Call them traffic hold-ups, or anything that will present Kigali jams as lesser evils than the other jams, but I swear I have seen traffic slow down, even grind to a halt around Nyabugogo, the Sonatubes junction, or the Minijust-RDB stretch, especially in the evening rush hour. And a traffic jam is the last thing I want to be in these days. Who wants to be trapped in a jungle of smoke, crying babies, car horns and impatient, volatile passengers?We have done everything we can to overcome this sad state of affairs. We have named this slow death ‘rush hour traffic’, although it hasn’t helped in rushing any hours. Now, you can choose to spend these ‘rush hours’ grieving over life’s agonies, or you can follow my free and unsolicited advice on healthy ways to pass time in the jam…If you are a student, go right ahead and start on that Mathematics homework you had planned on doing from the comfort of your bed. Anyway, just kidding. Text awayThey say the best way to tackle a tough situation is by being jovial about it. So really, a few minutes of traffic should make you “happy” enough. Crack it up a bit. Loosen up. Send useless jokes to all the people in your contact list. Let them know the ‘jam’ you’re in. Post pictures of a sad you in the jam using your iPhone and splash them all over your profile page. Also, poke the hell out of all people you know on your friend list.PrayMaybe traffic jam is God’s way of telling you that you’re going to hell. Besides, what do you stand to lose? So take a minute, close your eyes, and..PhilosophiseTraffic jams are the best time to philosophize and to meditate. Think big. Ask tough questions. Wonder why aero planes are not built of the material they use in making the black box, the only component of an airplane that survives after a plane crash and literally lives to tell the story. KitesAlternatively, you could just get off your vehicle and fly a kite.SocialiseRoadside beggars are human like you and me. Or like they say, they are like Google’s featured ads. They also need someone’s attention. But be careful not to use such insensitive words as food, water, bed, clothes, AC, TV, fridge, laptop etc.