Conversation against toddler tantrums – does it work?

Today I am hoping to get some insight from the more seasoned parent or in other words the parent who has learned the art and discipline of patience. I have read plenty of articles on parenting, self-help books, even watched some video tutorials all on the subject of handling toddler tantrums.Right now I am willing and ready to raise the white flag, admit defeat and get on my knees to beg for a cure or at least a preventative measure. The truth is I am all out of patience, my nerves raw from the screaming and I seem to have a constant headache just from the tension of bracing myself for the next tantrum. Yes, my weekend was an extra long one. I guess it is easy to tell. But I am still doing my best to keep the peace in my home; believe me it is not from lack of trying. I have even gone as far as changing my strategy. At first I was trying all the methods to induce calm: second guessing my toddler’s needs, calming voice and tone, soothing snuggles, crooning and even attempting lullaby’s – it didn’t work. I then opted for some tough love using the naughty corner and a bit of spanking – that worked for a while then the temper tantrums got worse.Now I’m trying to enhance language skills because the way I see it there is a total communication breakdown. Between mother and child, it is hard to tell who is the most frustrated.Resources for language development in young children claim that conversation with the parents is perhaps the most valuable tool for language development. Apparently, the easy and informal setting of informal language provides a child with the building blocks for the child’s own language development, socialization and enhances his interaction skills. The idea is that the sooner the child can learn to express her needs and wants more clearly, the sooner the temper tantrums and frustration will tamper down and with any luck, even disappear completely. So now I try to engage my toddler in every moment of everyday, applauding him and cheering him on when he mimics me, encouraging him as much as possible to try more and more words each day.In the process, he also seems to be enjoying the attention and the compliments and in fact seems to be quite entertained! I have come to realize that the usual day to day activities may not be very interesting to us as adults because we do them every day may be just the thing to engage the child in easy interaction and a convenient platform to try out basic language skills and perhaps even pre-emptying the temper tantrums. It is a slow but sure progress. To learn, children need practice. Routines give them the opportunity to observe the same sights, sounds, smells, and behaviors until they make sense of them; to make the same movements until they can coordinate confidently; to hear and use the same words until they can take ownership of them and use them confidently and eventually in the right context.In the meantime, I keep talking through tasks using simple words to describe our (me and baby) actions. I am hoping that while I wait for proper language, he is too preoccupied with the goings on to remember the tantrums as an option. Let’s see how it goes… in the meantime, any tricks and insights from parents out there?