The sadistic side of computers

THE ONE THING that has never changed about computers, no matter how advanced they get is: They still lock up. This is why you strive to be responsible when working on your machine. You try to save your work on a regular basis, “just in case”.But every now and then you forget, and that is the time that your computer always decides to lock up on you.Computer thinking to itself: “Hmm, he’s been working on that article for 2 hours now and he’s so involved with it that he has forgotten to save it! Well, it’s time to ruin this chap’s day!” So what do you do when this happens? Well, if the first thing you can think of is to hurl obscenities at the offending machine, make sure that none of your co-workers or boss or clients in the office where you work heard you.Talking of computers and screwing up, one of the more common scenarios is when all of a sudden a program just exits itself instantly. No warning, no “system error” or “the program is not responding”, it just disappears. Just like that. Where the hell did it go! On some kind of coffee break? Do computers have holiday vacations or something that we don’t know of? I doubt if this makes any sense at all, especially bearing in mind the kind of money these things cost.These pieces of technology make a host of things in life easier, but they do have a sadistic side. They love torturing the hell out of whoever sets out to make use of them.I’ve now come to the conclusion that the only way to deal with computers screwing up like this is to treat them as if they were real people. In other words, an eye for an eye!Should a program crash on you, rename the program file to something really insulting. If Internet Explorer goes crash, go into the program file and rename it from its current name “IEXPLORE.EXE” to curse words of your choice. This will make the program feel very bad, as if it’s a completely useless invention. This way, all of the other programs will point and laugh at it. This will also double as a clear warning to the other programs that if they don’t behave, a similar fate awaits them.If your computer locks up on a regular basis, buy a new one and put it right next to it. Then only use the new computer, but leave the old one turned on at all times. That way it can see that you have moved on in your life and are getting along just fine without it. This will really hurt the feelings of your old computer, the fact that you traded it for a newer model.