Is mine yours when we get married?

Yes! Sharing is caring!I believe that when you decide to settle with someone it’s for life. During the times of our forefathers, divorce was never an option; neither would it cross their mind when things didn’t go well in their marital homes. It’s weird how couples today think of divorce even before they get to their marital homes. If divorce was not an option we would not be debating this. I believe that sharing with your spouse the property you owned before marriage is a noble gesture. When one gets married, it’s a mutual understanding that you are going to share more than your feelings or the bed but also the finances and assets. Unless you are an opportunist, I don’t see why you wouldn’t share the wealth you accumulated when you were single. If you can’t share the wealth you attained single handedly, I don’t think you can share the wealth you have accumulated with your spouse. This is an indication that while married, you had secret accounts and other assets.I believe sharing is caring, and this is a trait that was instilled in us even when we were still in kindergarten. I remember reading my nursery report that I got from my father’s things when he passed away and I saw a 90% on the sharing section and this is when it hit me that I was taught to share at a tender age. Sharing is a trait we must practice throughout our lives even when we get married. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged. The Bible states in Genesis 2:24, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. And Mark 10:9 states that, Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.You commit to your spouse through sickness and health, in poverty and wealth - which means sharing everything. But when divorce surfaces things go berserk!The grounds for divorce in Rwanda according to the Civil Code include the following: if one of the spouses is at fault, one spouse is absent for twelve months without the knowledge of his or her spouse. Separation lasting up to three years or mutual consent between the spouses. The Code also demands that the spouses upon divorce by mutual agreement must hand over half of their assets to their children.Children learn from their parents – it won’t be exemplary if they learn that their parents refused to share property. Before selecting the community property section during the civil marriage regarding the distribution of property, think of the consequences. doreen.umutesi@newtimes.co.uk -----------------------------------------------No! If it’s my stuff, mine!Unfair @*%#* or whatever else you think you have to say - save it! I have days when the Bible is literally the only thing I trust. Today is one of those days –I get to quote God and pretend I have followed His every word since I was a child.I know God never said anything about sharing property because He hoped people would actually get married and stay together till they die. What He did say however (and we all know this) is that man was to sweat and take care of his wife.Now, in this era, since it is simply uncool for women to just sit around and wait for men to do everything, we made it easier by getting educated and finding jobs. However, that does not give men the right to get smart or lazy for that matter!I don’t care what I own, God told men to take care of us and He wasn’t crazy when He said that. So, sharing what the man has worked for isn’t asking for too much – I am simply following God’s orders. When we got married, he promised to stick with me no matter what, so, should he be so stupid as to divorce me, the consequences are on him. Also, if he turned my uterus into a baby making machine, best believe my account switched to his. If I had any mercy for his savings while we were still together, divorce will bring out demons I guarantee he will not want to meet so it would be wise to just give me what I want and go!Personally, I plan on being the best wife in the world (if there is still a man crazy enough to marry me now). I will love him and honour him, and do all the things good wives do – that includes turning into an animal in the bedroom (I understand marriages fall apart because of a lazy sex life) - and I will be faithful. Should the marriage ever fall apart, the fault will not be on me. I was a good wife! Why should my things be shared with a man who never appreciated me or my animal efforts? I will proudly walk away with all my stuff, demanding in as loud a tone as I can gather for half of his!Some advice? Don’t get divorced! Stick to those vows you read out loud. If you’re not good with vows, don’t put your hard earned stuff in jeopardy.rachel.garuka@newtimes.co.rwOn Twitter: @RachelGaruka