…mess up and then leave the rest of us to suffer. I really wish I could see the home of the person who designed Kigali City Tower. I would want to see how big the garage is. This is because I hate this person for having designed a ‘state-of-the-art’ building whose parking space favours those who drive very small cars. It is almost a punishment to tell someone to park an SUV in that place. The question therefore is how mean can someone be to leave people to suffer with scratches on their cars long after you have left and been paid for such a shoddy job. If you meet this person please pass on my hatred. …ask you what your plans are for a day like Valentine’s. Of course my plans for that day were very clear; to find more people to hate so that I can be sure of my February salary. Otherwise why would you ask me what my plans are on that day and not on other days that are not marked red on the calendar? And if indeed it is a day for lovers then why ask me if you are not my lover? After all any such plans would not include you anyway. Do people who ask such questions ever stop to realise how foolish they sound? I hate idle people who ask me about plans they are not part of. … send us useless Facebook notifications. I thought I had hated enough on Facebook but they just seem to come up with more annoying things every day. You log on and find things like, “Mark Zuckerberg wants to add you to his birthday calendar.” And so what happens after you have added me? I know all I will get is a brief birthday message on my wall so why do you want to make it look like you are making a list of those who will follow The Hater to heaven? Whenever I see such useless notifications I get enough reasons to ‘unfriend’ that person. …start conversations in the bathrooms. You know that time when you have been sitting in a club and you have had about three drinks then you feel like going to the bathroom to ease yourself. You get there and just after you have pulled down your zip to do your thing someone next to you goes, “Hey man what’s up?” Not to be rude but I thought I was there to deal with a small problem and leave. I did not come here to start conversations with strangers. Why do you wait for me to enter the toilet for you to start talking to me? And what will you say the next time you see me. That we met in the toilet? Seriously, who allows these fools to leave home? …complain that they did not get any flowers on Valentine’s Day. Sometimes I wonder why certain people are not arrested for being foolish. I mean, how do we achieve our development goals if we have people whining about not seeing some flowers that were going to wilt away in a few days just because they have bought into the culture of celebrating days they barely understand. And who said there are no more flowers on sale? Why are you even boring us with your complaints? Some of us are environmentalists and are happy that flowers were not cut to please your sorry low self-esteem self. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293 The Hater
