I’m going on my first date in a long time. I was in a serious relationship for a while so I’m feeling somewhat nervous. It’s up to me to think of the plan for the date. I really want to impress this girl because I think she’s great and I want to get to know her more. She’s of my classmate at university and I would hate to be a failure and have to see her for the rest of the semester. Please give me some pointers on how to make this date a successful one.MarkDear Mark,I want to congratulate you for being the first male to write in. And I also want to congratulate you for being brave enough to ‘jump back on the horse’ after a serious relationship. Very often, people who’ve had a breakup after a long relationship become cynical and untrusting. These two things make enjoying another relationship difficult. However, I sense that this isn’t the case here.The first thing that you must realise as you go on this date is that she is interested in knowing who you are. Very often, men try to impress the girl on the first date (by going to expensive places and what not) but in my experience this is a recipe for disaster. Be yourself. You are a student and so is she. Keep it nice and simple. You can have a good time without spending all the money in your pocket. Personal grooming is important. Look like someone whom she will be proud to be seen with. Women care about these kinds of things too. Not just men. But that doesn’t mean a suit and tie. Just something nice.Lastly, here is the most important thing. LET HER TALK AND BE INTERESTED. Ask her questions about herself, her likes and dislikes and, no matter the temptation, DON’T TRY TO GET HER TO GO HOME WITH YOU. AND DON’T DRINK TOO MUCH. I wish you the best Mark.If you have a query, contact itsaguything@newtimes.co.rw
