Why I enjoy induction programmes

I have been working in a real office for one year. I have been enjoying it thoroughly especially when new employees join our company. I am usually requested by my boss to take the new employees for an induction programme. For the uninitiated, an induction programme is designed to introduce new staff members to the company so that they get to understand what the different departments do, and how they carry out their activities. So, I take them from manager to manager, introducing them and making them feel at ease. Afterwards, I take them to my cubicle to give them a final piece of the induction jigsaw: I tell them about the very first salaries and how to deal with this first pay cheque! The only way of doing this is by giving them my own experience. I have been sharing with these new young employees about my first salary during the mid-90s. During those days, salaries were paid in dollars. Cash at that! So Aggrey and I faced some interesting experiences when our very first salaries were passed through the cashier’s window straight into our hands. When the first salary reached our hands, we did not pocket it immediately. This was because our hands started to behave in a very strange manner. Instead of grabbing those crispy greenish notes which hail from the U.S., our hands began to dance in a fashion that could remind you of break-dance. They were dancing due to uncontrollable fear. These hands were telling us that they had never touched anything of this nature and therefore had to end up shivering as if a bout of malaria had stung. The hands shivered and momentarily rejected this offer from the cashier. How could we possibly cope with so much cash? Where would we keep it? All these questions raced through our brains with no signs of real answers. Well, we somehow picked up some courage and finally managed to pocket the cash. You could even feel the pockets undergoing a mini earthquake. They too had never seen so much dough before. We had to plead with our pockets, requesting them to behave. Besides, this was something they had to get used to since that kind of cash would pay them a visit at every month end. Due to that initial shock, Aggrey and I were faced with another hurdle. Not only were our hands suffering from Parkinson’s disease, but they were also sweating profusely. Have you ever greeted someone who is an owner of sweaty palms? Yeah, you know what I am talking about. They are usually either alcoholics or friends of phobia. At that moment we, too, were owners of sweaty hands. That is why we found it extremely difficult to handle a pen to sign acknowledgement of payment. When we picked the pens to sign against the vouchers, the pens became so slippery and there was no easy way of getting a firm grip. After trying for a couple of minutes, the cashier began to run out of patience. In fact, she thought that we were up to something rather fishy. Were we trying to con her and disappear without signing the vouchers? So, she did the most sensible thing. She called in the security personnel. One look at our blood shot eyes was enough for the security men to reach a conclusion. We were obviously small time criminals, attempting to cheat the poor cashier. Anyways, we managed to finally compose ourselves and went off to enjoy our new life as salary earners. So with this story from the mid-90s, I am able to inspire these new recruits about their expectations of receiving their first salaries. The only difference is that their salaries are paid through their bank accounts…