Bad breath is good for you

Bad breath. Talking about this subject is cliché. So cliché, it’s like asking “What’s in a name”, to which 9.5 out of every 10 responses will begin with; “A rose by any other name is still a Rose.” IT is that cliché! That said, why is it people with bad breath always want to talk to you with the tips of their upper lips literally kissing the edge of your otherwise peaceful nose? How much more can one rub it in?These people not only blight your face with the fangs of Satan’s hell billowing furiously from their mouths, they are also in the habit of ‘irrigating’ your otherwise peace-loving face with jets of their carbon-rich saliva as they bubble away. And no, they won’t latch onto the hints you are now beginning to drop on their terrible breath, having gotten tired of “dying in silence”; such hints as thrusting your face away and only contributing meaningless phrases like “oh really?” and “oh yeah” and “is it true?” to the conversation. Today, let’s try something different from the norm. Let us go out of our way to celebrate the very fact that, hidden deep inside every dark cloud-even a cloud as dark as offensive breath, is a silver lining. Foul breath helps you avoid clinching that job that otherwise had been God-ordained for you. If you suffer from halitosis, chances are you will not make it past the first interview. Most companies require hygienic people, so you will definitely not make it among the finalists.Bad breath arms you with an excuse not to talk to anybody. Nobody wants to speak with a person who spews noxious fumes every time he lets rip his mouth.You will know who your true friends are the day you acquire bad breath. Only people who genuinely and deeply like you will insist on staying with you. Those who only need you for something will not tolerate the noxious flames from your abdomen.If you own a business, foul breath guarantees that it will sink unless you find someone to run it for you. Clients won’t want to talk to you, suppliers will not set up meetings with you (unless they really desperately need your business), and even non-desperate job seekers might not consider being hired by you. Bad breath will help ensure that your business sinks to the ground faster than you can say “halitosis”.Personal relationships can definitely be avoided if you contract this problem. Only a partner who really loves you for you will stay to work this out. Do not be surprised if that person leaves subtle hints like offering you gum, buying you mouthwash, or clandestinely leaving behind a magazine with an article about bad breath.You will no longer have to worry about being pressured to have white teeth. Imagine the thousands of dollars you would have burned on such useless things like dental whiteners and toothbrushes!