The laziness manifesto

I hate work!! I mean the kind of work that brings pain to one’s body or mind. Whoever invented it must have been a clown or lacked better things to do, for God’s sake, why would a sane person opt for the kind of activity that is mentally or physically disturbing?Hard work!! There is no other phrase I hate as much as the one just mentioned; some people say “it pays”. Are they nuts? Do they know that the hardest working people are usually the poorest?People need to get their statistics right, this is the 21st century where aspects like ignorance won’t be tolerated. Any person who doesn’t know that the most successful people in the world, work little, rest a lot but play smart, doesn’t belong to the global village, and for that reason should be thrown out of the civilized world. Deadlines, punctuality demands, aaargh!! Why do my bosses take delight in making me miserable? Don’t they know I may breakdown under that kind of pressure? There are those who say that hard work makes a difference in people’s lives, what difference does it make? Don’t we all (hardworking or not) keep the same body parts: full limbs, a functional pair of eyes, ears, a nose, so on and so forth? What changes? People should start being realistic.That aside, I hate everybody at home, Jevy my sibling especially, always banging and scowling at my door before dawn in the name of waking me up to do some house chores, this little crook really has to fashion-up lest he finds himself landing a number of uncountable slaps.The only person I love is the cook, because of the nice dishes she prepares. She is the only person who understands how the ideal life should be lived. God bless her. Can someone imagine how fun the world would be, if it were only about sleeping, watching T.V, filling junior cross word puzzles and eating cake? It surely would be, but someone decides to bore themselves with unproductive “stiff” work!! People can be idle and crazy.To wrap-up, people have different wishes, mine has always been being a Saudi sheikh, with countless petro-dollars, private jets , loyal subjects and a lavish royal court at service, doing nothing else , but suffering with excess luxury. Which other type of life is better than this?As told to Ivan Ngoboka