20 New Year’s resolutions for adults

IF you are past 18, you most probably are active on social media. Let’s restrict ourselves to Facebook and Twitter for the benefit of this article. Now, just before you tweet or update your status, pause and ask yourself; “Is it absolutely necessary that I share this piece of thought with my entire social network?”And if the answer is not, “yes, I absolutely must,” then stay away from the Internet.If you want to lose a little weight very quickly, eat less and exercise like crazy. If you want to lose a lot of weight slowly, go to the gym and, after the routine, indulge your insatiable appetite for pork ribs after your fitness routine. You will surely shed some of that fat. But very slowly, I must warn you.If you really like the person you’re hooking up with and would like them to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, find a way to tell them, and hope for the best. If you don’t and wouldn’t, stop.Find a way to save a few francs and spend it on a bus/flight to see a friend or family member who lives far away. And please, please, stop liking the Kardashians. All of them. It’s not helping anyone, least of all the Kardashians themselves.Spend less than or equal to the money you earn each month. Wear clothes that fit you, especially to work. Remember to call up someone on the phone at least once a week, and speak to him or her for at least five minutes.Start preparing now to get over the fact that Facebook is probably going to change again in six months. Wait 30 seconds before you look up a fact you can’t remember on your phone, and try to remember it using your brain. This is what the olden days were like.Replace one terrible reality show you’re currently watching with one wonderful scripted show currently available on television.Try that food you think you don’t like but have never actually tried, unless it’s vulture meat.Cut one person out of your life who you truly do not like and add one person who you truly do. Note: not on Facebook, on Earth. In the real, 3D world that we live in.If you’re still blacking out regularly, (and making a fool of yourself and all the decent, right-thinking members of society with who you hang out in the process), you should stop.Volunteer once over the next 90 days. You’ll feel really good about it, and probably end up volunteering again over the next 275.Tell someone who you love that you love them on a more regular basis. To their face, not in a text, and certainly not on Facebook.Back up your entire online life onto an external hard drive, especially your photos.Crap or get off the pot. This applies to whatever thing you’re not doing that you should just sack up and do already. And in the forever living words of Tom Haverford, ‘Treat Yourself!’Happy 2013 everyone.

Lifestyle

20 New Year’s resolutions for adults