The friends I keep...

Anyone who knows me knows that I keep a weird group of compadres. Now, these guys are legendary…that’s the only word to define them. Legendary. Some of the things they’ve been involved in (I can’t lie and say that I wasn’t part of all those incidents) are downright crazy. Yes, we’ve done the usual drinking and partying…however… let me give you a few accounts of some of the things we get up to. Chilling in my room on campus, doing a lot of nothing, I was interrupted by a knock on my door. I was being paid a visit by a friend of mine. No one that interesting really (i.e. the visitor wasn’t female). As many do when they pay me a visit, the chap went straight to my ‘Wall of Shame’. This wall, just next to my bed, is where I put all the really funny stuff I’ve collected. That includes my baby photos (the ladies love them), pictures of the Shady Bar along with its fan base and the Ugly Munkiz Commandments and Dictionary. Well, the commandments make everyone laugh (the first commandment states that one ‘can’t dither a friends friend’; the second is ‘thou shalt never refuse a free beer’) but the dictionary is the one that bamboozles everyone. That’s because we, the Munkiz, have a language that non-members won’t understand in a million years. Well…here’s the secret; all the words that you see in the dictionary are based on an incident that became infamous. I’m sorry I can’t mention any names for fear of a slow and painful death by slaps. However, I’ll tell a story without any names…the guilty parties know who they are. The incident involved a cute Ugandan lady, lots of beer and three Ugly Munkiz. It was one of those very, very rare Fridays at the Shady where the ladies outnumbered the guys. And not only were these girls hot, they were also drinking crazy amounts of Mutzig. One of them was particularly good looking. Thing was, she was the one ho was going through bottles like they were going out of fashion. Three boys fell in love with this lady. After one guy had to retire early, because he had an unfortunate accident, there were two contestants left. We left the Shady and headed for the next joint. One guy made a swift move …and within seconds they were kissing in a corner. After a few minutes of this they ‘lucky fellow’ became all ‘gentlemanly’ and went to get her a drink. The second, seeing that his rival was off the scene, promptly went over and started another kiss-fest. When poor Number One came back with cold drinks he tapped the second on the shoulder and told him that he was on his time. The second Munkey replied - he had his chance! The best part; they are still friends. And you ask why I’m strange? It’s the company I keep - they ain’t normal. Contact: madogz2002@yahoo.ca