THERE has been a spate of lovers and even married couples killing each other for one reason or another, but what tops the list is jealousy. Reading such a story recently, my students and I decided to explore all the reasons that can drive a person to kill his/her partner out of jealousy.They were surprised when I told them that jealousy has never featured in my vocabulary – never! The reason as to why I have no reason to be jealousy and let it kill me is simple: if I have a problem with my partner, I will not go to bed until the problem is solved amicably.There are so many reasons as to why people in relationships become jealousy.Strange as it might sound, people start developing jealousy tendencies when they are happy in their relationships.Why? Because this is when insecurity starts creeping in when a partner starts following every move their partner is taking in the name of protecting what is theirs.This is a side effect of our desire not to lose what belongs to us, and we know that a partner is someone special to us, so we guard them jealously.There is also a habit between couples when they are out in a public place. Picture this: Tom escorts his wife to the supermarket and suddenly his wife notices that he is stealing glances at a young and good looking lady. Mary is mad and causes chaos. But the burning question is: What is wrong with anyone admiring God’s creation? What is the point of the pandemonium? I have many times caught my partner looking at good looking creatures but I don’t stop him, because I know he looks when we are not together, so why bother now?I have always said it takes more to keep a partner loving you for many years, than showing your stupid side of being jealous out of nothing. In fact, this trait is such a put-off to many people, because it shows lack of confidence and your ability to trust your partner fully. Just imagine being followed every move you make, a trace of every phone call and a list every other person you are in contact with – this can be a torturous life.Jealousy is one of the worst poisons of any relationship. The devastating effects of jealousy are twofold: first, jealousy ruins good communication between people, causing a multitude of unfounded arguments and fights. Secondly, jealousy conveys some of the most unattractive qualities in a person.You will agree with me that a good relationship thrives on freedom. This freedom is needed for individuals to grow and develop, to be authentic and genuine, to pursue new opportunities. Unfounded jealousy is a dominance sure to suffocate any romantic relationship. If you want to celebrate silver and golden jubilee of your marriage, make sure your partner has the space, encouragement, and autonomy to be who they are – without someone else watching every breath and movement.It is said that the jealous are possessed by a mad devil and a dull spirit at the same time.
