A couple’s journey of transformation

RUHANGO–The marriage between Antoine Bizimana and his wife Marie Madeleine Nzamugurisuka had for long been rocked by frequent domestic quarrels.The couple attributes the wrangles to lack of common ground over the management of the family’s property.“My husband considered himself the owner of the family’s property, which he managed according to his wishes,” Nzamugurisuka narrates, flanked by her husband who does not object to the assertion.“All was in his hands and his decision was irrevocable,” she adds.“I accepted the status quo and could not dare raise any objection to any of his decisions”, Nzamugurisuka, 42, explains.Nzamugurisuka who has been married for the last 21 years further points an accusing finger to traditions that bar a woman from managing family’s property as one of the root causes of her predicament.She further says the situation got out of hand when the husband prevented her from attending local gatherings.“He even prevented me from attending any meetings,” she remembers, adding that he was frightened that if she interacted with other residents, she could learn of her rights.“Maybe he did not want me to become aware of my rights if I interacted with people.” According to he husband, the family’s economic situation was at cross-roads then.“We lived in a small house, which we shared with our domestic animals,” he candidly narrates.But, his wife says she could not stand being locked up in the house any more and discreetly began to venture out in her husband’s absence. “I often secretly attended meetings while he was not at home”, the woman recalls. “In that process, I was elected as a women’s representative at the cell level but preferred to keep it a secret.”She continues: “When he first heard about it, he was angry but later understood the state of affairs.”But life took another turn when the couple attended family therapy in 2003. This played a key role in building a spirit of mutual trust and respect.As a result, the family’s fortunes began to change for the better. “Our children now have access to basic necessities including food, clothes, education, and health services”, Bizimana proudly says.“We have now opened a savings account through the Umurenge SACCO. I hope the savings will improve our family’s welfare.” Nzamugurisuka says that due to their frequent quarrels, the family had in the past been shunned by society. “Our neighbours had lost trust in us and our family was somehow derided. But, since our relationship improved, we are now trusted by all and we often intervene to solve family conflicts in the area whenever need be”, she notes.The couple advises families to avoid conflicts to ensure harmony and improved welfare.“Family conflicts are mainly a result of greed,” Bizimana remarks. “Couples should endeavour to live in harmony for the benefit of all family members”, Bizimana concludes.

National

A couple’s journey of transformation