“You will forever regret not reporting the matter to authorities if she ends up getting raped! Do your friend a good turn and tell the authorities.”Dear Dr. Lungfishman,I am 32 years old and have been married for the last three years. It so happened that soon after our wedding, my mother-in-law asked me to help her with security to acquire a loan and I used my mother’s land title. However, my mother-in-law has failed to pay the loan, which has jeopardised my mother’s land title and is also putting a strain on my marriage because I cannot go and demand for money from her. What should I do? I do not want to take my in-law to court yet the bank is on my neck! HafsaDear Hafsa,You must put your fear aside and take legal action if you must. Mother-in-law or not, this should not in any way be reason for your marriage to be strained. Your husband needs to step up to his mother. You have done no wrong. The lesson here is in black and white! What will you do when your mother starts to ask about her land? You must choose one way or another!************************* Dear Dr. Lungfishman, I have known my boyfriend for two years now. We have never had any serious problems but I have noticed that he is different from most men. His friends are women and during his free time he is hanging out with his female friends at their homes. At first I thought he was a womaniser but now I am confused because he says they are just friends. I am tired of the relationship because we are almost never together without one of the girls following us. Can you help?HildaDear Hilda,Every coin has two sides but you need to sit him down and tell him how you feel about it all. The question is: Do you really love him or are you just ‘in a relationship’? If you do love him, do not try to change him; just love him and if he loves you, he will change on his own accord. If you are just ‘in a relationship’, you must not complain about his friends. Ever heard of the saying: “If you catch an animal, set it free, if it comes back, take it; if it doesn’t, it was never meant to be yours”?! ************************* Dear Dr. Lungfishman, My friend has a problem. Ever since she lost her mother, her dad has kept on demanding for sex from her and threatens to stop paying her tuition fees and looking after her young siblings if she doesn’t give in. I have advised her to go to police or tell some of her relatives but she fears, arguing that this would shame her dad. She does not want to upset her family. Any advice?KateDear Kate,You will forever regret not reporting the matter to authorities if she ends up getting raped! Do your friend a good turn and tell the authorities. If she gets angry at you, that anger will pass in time but a terrible experience might ruin her life and your friendship forever! Act now!*************************Dear Dr. Lungfishman, I am 23 years old. My boyfriend of 6 months travelled for studies abroad and I recently met this NICE guy who is really caring and am almost leaving my other boyfriend as people are advising me that he could have met someone else by now and might never come back. Do you think it’s a good idea to dump him for this new guy?Yours StellaDear Stella,You are 23 years old and thinking like a 16-year-old! But it is understandable that a six-month relationship can quickly succumb to time and space. Still, if you really love your boyfriend, you will wait. If you do not love him, you will not wait for him, no matter what I advise you. I like your choice of the word ‘dump’ so will ask you the same question: Do you think you should dump him for this new guy?
