If you are my friend, hands off my ex!

Let me spread the word in the best way I can; I am not the type of person you want to have as an enemy. That’s not a threat by the way. I am dead serious. If you want some kind of proof to this threat, just ask the people I attended nursery with. They, till this day, have never forgotten the consequences of not sharing their lunch with me! Now, imagine what I can do at university! I will leave that to your imagination.I recently spent a night in detention for giving some lame chick a bloody nose and busted lip. Okay, she wasn’t just some girl- she was what I now call an ex-friend. And even though I lost a couple of braids in the fight, I am glad I made my point and proved that I still have my wrestling skills in check. So when I say you do not want to mess with me, I mean it.Out of all the men floating around the earth, is it fair for my best friend to date my ex-boyfriend less than a month after we broke up?Some of you are so predictable, I know what you are thinking, if I broke up with him then what is wrong with it? People DO move on, I know that, and I am not against moving on, I am against my ex moving on with my now ex-best friend. I mean think about it, I have been sharing all my secrets with this twerp, telling her what I do not like about my ex and getting advice from her on how to handle my relationship issues. I even shared with her some of the tricks I wanted to use to get him back.And there goes the two-faced calculative daughter of Jezebel offering him a shoulder to cry on. Is she serious?What if I want him back? What if it was just one of my fiddly games to have him propose to me? There are so many “what if’s” but the bottom line is if you are my friend, then do not date my ex.Ex-boyfriends are off limits to friends, unless the friendship is a hoax! And if it is, I’ll be sure to not only bust a lip for seducing my ex, but also break a nose for wasting my time when I could be out making other friends!