Foster families share experiences

Foster families that adopted children from Mpore Pefa Orphanage, recently came together to share experiences of taking care of children they are not biologically related to.This was during an empowerment meeting in Kicukiro District, Kigali, organised by Hope and Homes for Children, (HHC). This is the second follow up meeting to seek solutions to challenges the foster parents face. HHC is an international non government organisation that has partnered with the National Commission for Children to phase out all orphanages in the country. It is primarily tasked with closing down both MPORE PEFA and Nyundo Noel Orphanage centres. According to the arrangement, HHC has embarked on capacity building to settle children in homes as a way of averting issues of children being separated from their families.Some of the ensuing challenges that have been progressively handled include bedwetting, mental retardation, fighting, clinging on adults and rejection by biological children, begging, self isolation, poor memory, and extended family or community interference and questioning the logic of inheriting foster children yet they have relatives. A participant at the meeting and a foster parent, Annunciate Mukanyarwaya, revealed that the relationship with her brother had deteriorated since she decided to adopt a child. She, however, explains that with persistence, she has been able to overcome such pressures. Mukanyarwaya owes this to the HHC empowerment programme. Christelle Bwiza, a psychologist at HHC, explained that the first meeting involved foster parents with biological but distant relationship with the children, clarifying that the most recent one involved those without any blood relationship.“They have unique questions and challenges different from those who are biologically related with the children they are looking after,” she adds.A foster parent, Abdul Karema, says his prayer was to see the closure of all orphanages saying they destroy the lives of children. “Let all Rwandans come together to adopt these children as we usually do towards resolving our problems as a nation. Some of these children have mental deficiencies, are stunted, and traumatised. However, we all acknowledge that they are progressively changing.” He states that his adopted child, Yannick, 6, has developed strong bonding with his foster mother, Faridah, adding that he also gets along well with the rest of her siblings. Karema narrates how his family made a decision to adopt Yannick.“I was at work and my wife called me with news that she had given birth to a baby. I stayed home for two weeks, before resuming work thereafter,” he explains.“After two days, my wife called me again, this time claiming that a baby had been placed at the doorstep of our house.”According to Karema, after a week, the local authorities were able to rightfully identify the mother as a house girl, impregnated by her employer in the area but who, however, vehemently denied the claims. The child was thereafter taken to MPORE PEFA.Karema says that when HHC was closing down the orphanage, officials at the NGO traced his wife as the person who had played a pivotal role in rescuing the baby. The officials requested the family to take up the baby which they obliged.Asked why he offered to adopt the child, Karema says he recognises the action as part of national building. He challenges other parents to emulate him. Another foster parent, Antoinette Karigirwa, made similar appeals to Rwandan parents. “Please, treat these kids as you would your own. What is important is that they are reforming. We all agree they are changing. After all, when we took them up, it was a service to God.”Karigirwa explains her decision to take up a foster child. “I am a widow with four children. It was my daughter, Denise Kayitesi, who picked up the abandoned child but later took her to MPORE PEFA before returning with her to my home. My children love my new daughter, Kevina Keza.