Lose that belly boo

Last week on campus must have been “humongous people’s day” because I have never seen so many huge people in one place and in the same week. I say this not in bad faith, but to understand how people totally give up on their physical appearance. How is it that some men and (women) don’t mind looking like baby elephants?Anyway, out of the many “baby elephants” one turned out to be my knight in shining armour. I can safely say that I have never felt more loved or more impressed by a man like I was with this one. He said the most beautiful things to me and promised to take me shopping (that was the minute I knew that he is the one). He made me feel like a sixteen-year-old teenager once again but my thoughts had to stop...for I was like, wait... how am I going to hug you? And even when I attempted to hug his neck, I had no choice but to sit on his belly.Now, seeing as I don’t have the kindest of friends, guaranteed they would make him feel like a pig or tell him straight up that he is - if he didn’t understand their sarcasm.To avoid embarrassing both of us, I came up with some ground rules. Our love is not for the world to see. It is for the two of us and strictly behind closed doors. Do not judge me, a man with a big tummy might very well be mistaken for my father and I do not want to give people the wrong idea. Would you?So we agreed that when he sees me in public, he only says ‘hi’ or even better, just wave and move on... until we figure out how to lose that belly.In fact, if I had a fairy that would grant me an immediate wish, I would ask it to make him a little bit shorter (6’1 feet tall is not the kind of man I should be dating considering my height). In case you are lost, think about Jada Pinkett and Will Smith. God surely does have a sense of humour. I mean, when I ask Him for a boyfriend, he gives me the sweetest sugar bear in existence. I wish I had specified exactly what I wanted.