Is your love in the gutter?

If there is one thing some women are good at other than gossip, it’s the strength to hang onto even the most brutal of relationships! They will cook for someone who barely makes an effort to come home, sleep in a bed alone – most probably stay awake because they are worried sick and become a punching bag when he finally decides to stagger home, drunk as hell. Ladies, no matter how much love you give or how much time and energy you put into a relationship, there are instances/incidents that signal the end. Arguments are a pointer to end it all, or the chance to set ground rules and see what works best for the both of you. Every quarrel, disagreement, and I-am-the-boss-of-me tantrum will shed light on what needs to be changed. Nothing says ‘run’ like a man whose fits have been surgically detached from a woman’s jaw one too many times. There is simply no excuse. Throw in the towel immediately and get the police – you can’t let him off that easy! The first violent arm squeeze or a slap that he tries to blame on hassle are signs that things will get uglier, so don’t wait.Do not tolerate verbal abuses. You can excuse him if his ‘PMS’ puts him in a grouchy mood once a month or so. If he regularly taunts you with mean names, talks to you like you mean no more to him than a human means to a poisonous snake; it is a sign of much bigger problems. Your best bet may be to leave. If you can tolerate the occasional flare-up, let him know barking has it limits! Manipulation is emotional abuse. Okay, I know women are pros when it comes to manipulation but ours is cute – we flutter our eyelids in an attempt to look adorable so that a guy will help us change a car tire or something. However, male manipulation is a guy making you feel bad for not doing what he wants. Many manipulators turn into abusers of one species or another when the games they play abruptly stop working. Now, I need you to hear me very clearly on this one. If the man you are with is addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, pornography, or something of a more serious nature and refuses to get help, scram! Excuses and denial are not an option.Cheating is tricky especially when it comes to marriage. However, you can see the difference between a person genuinely sorry and a person who could care less. If, for even a fraction a second, you sense a look in your man’s eye after confirming infidelity that suggests he will be back at it sooner than you can say ‘I forgive you’...peck him on the cheek then head for the door like the plague just broke out.Finally, this business of men forgetting ‘Adam’s punishment’ is not acceptable. I mean, do not let him mooch! Do you pay all the bills and most of his expenses – even a taxi when he leaves your place? Enough said - throw in the towel. However, before you go all ‘commando’ on your partner, re-examine yourself, and make sure that you are not dumping someone for the same characteristics you have!