An entrepreneurial marriage?

Pick a Saturday afternoon, any Saturday in Kigali. Take a walk by the KBC rondpoint (roundabout) from 2:30p.m to 5p.m. I bet you will find a wedding photo session underway.Your colleagues will also be ‘having a wedding’ they have to attend every fortnight and sometimes ‘beep’ weddings because one may even have three weddings to go to within a space of six hours. It is an unusual occurrence to people who are new to Rwanda. It is also good.That marriage is a very important institution cannot be overemphasized. Every religion, law and culture on earth, sophisticated and rudimentary, has a special place for it.Even in more liberal societies, where the institution is not treated with the gravely serious attitude that we give it here, many a promising political carrier has floundered and ended due to problems within this institution, be it divorce, infidelity or otherwise. It is kind of ironic, in a liberal society where over half of marriages end up in divorce.Marriage is also a popular venture. There are very few people who do not nurture hopes of getting a good spouse and ‘living happily ever after’. Even those of us who profess otherwise are more likely to be talking as a result of being victims of the much heartbreak that litter the road to marriage.However, it is most likely that the real reason that marriage is so popular and important is that it is the best way to start a family. Everyone wants to have a family. We are social animals and the pull of ‘family’ is so strong and embedded within us (have you noticed that even gangs and organised crime outfits call themselves family?)In Africa, this institution is heavily affected by the influence of foreign culture(s) and new religions. This ‘once in a lifetime’ endeavour is typically characterised by three weddings – the traditional, the civil and the religious ceremonies. For all intents and purposes people marry three times over! This is a pointer to a lack of creativity on our part. Worse, it is a rather expensive way of proving to all and ‘sundry that we take things as given’ – no analysis and evaluation!Think about it, the reason that we go for traditional marriage ceremony (gusaba, uhiki, harusi) is, well because we are Africans and we belong to our communities. Likewise the reason we undergo civil and religious ceremonies is because we are good citizens and are religious, respectively. Question is, are these separate entities? Are you a traditional African, belonging to a particular community, at some point, then a modern citizen of my country at another then a Christian/ Moslem at another time? No, you are these entire rolled into one. So why can’t all these be integrated into one at a wedding ceremony?For starters, the basics of these three wedding types are the same; A valid marriage results from four elements: (1) the spouses are free to marry; (2) they freely exchange their consent; (3) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life (ordinarily), to be faithful to one another; and (4) their consent is given in the presence of witnesses and before a properly authorized minister. There is no Biblical nor canon law, for example, that states that a wedding is only valid if it is in church (Muslims marry at home all the time). Similarly, I bet if the government attorney, officiated at a wedding at home, with all the necessary trappings, it should be valid.The point is that, if a couple can have gusaba (traditional ceremony) at home and once it is done they take an oath before the attorney and then the minister blesses the union and reception follows; we can all have more fun, less stressful, as well as cost and time effective weddings.Crucially, the marriage will be more authentic and less pretentious (the agony of a fancy and posh wedding for a day followed by a miserable and broke married life is a sure recipe for divorce). This authenticity and creativity is a great way to start and sustain a family.Just an entrepreneurial thought…