Men just want to be men

Dear its a guy thing,Being in a long-term relationship teaches you a lot about men and let me tell you, machismo still exists. My boyfriend will be the sweetest guy behind closed doors but dare I bring those qualities to light? No.For example, my boyfriend will never even hold my bag in public. Obviously, the bag isn’t his but yet he seems like it is the most embarrassing thing I could ever make him do. What is up with men and the fear of being seen as being a “softie” when they clearly know they aren’t, their women know they aren’t. So what’s the big deal?Larissa--------------------------------------Dear Larissa,While it might appear that we don’t care what people think of us, what if the way we dress shabbily and what not, but we really do. When a guy is made to carry a woman’s bag in public they often feel emasculated, like we are somehow not real men. Something about holding a woman’s bag makes a fellow feel like he is under her thumb, something he doesn’t want the world to witness. So, no matter what he’s like in private, don’t expect the same thing in public. We don’t want to be judged as ‘weak’. That’s the one thing a man can’t stand. So, if he makes a face whenever he holds your bag, be thankful. At least he’s trying. Trust me, it’s never comfortable.If you have a query, email me: itsaguything@newtimes.co.rw