What happened to the good old ‘Hello’?

Now forget what the Bible tells you about forgiving and forgetting. There are some things that young men do today that not only do not deserve forgiveness, but deserve thorough punishment. As usual it is a Saturday night and after a long week of assignments and a whole bunch of other stuff, I decided it was high time I went out and relieve myself of my stressful week. Of course, I dressed to the nines with posh stilettos and a killer short dress; I was definitely not feeling anything less than glamorous. Let me not get ahead of myself here—I was dressed up for a date which turned out to be quite a disaster. First of all my date showed up in a tee-shirt that read, “I like it on the car bonnet” and his pants were so loose that at some point he had to pick them up off the ground. Must I remind you that I am not a 16-year-old teenager that finds loosely hanging pants fascinating; you may call it “swag” if you must but I call that trying too hard, I do not want to use the word stupidity but I am having a hard time finding the right word to describe what I saw. Now, I could have forgiven him for that, but how do I forgive him for speaking with a mouth full of food while showering my face with little bits of rice that were constantly zooming in my direction? How do I forgive him for making me dodge the bits of meat that were directed to me every time he opened his mouth to speak? How do I forgive him for farting and burping at the table and thinking it is funny? How do I forgive him for making me feel like I am the hot girl in a ‘Romantic Comedy’ trying to hook up with the fat unloved guy out of desperacy? Honestly, at some point I felt like this man was doing things intentionally. It even crossed my mind that it might be an ex-boyfriend from my past that has sent this dude my way, just to punish me. For what? I do not know! Talk about being paranoid.You see, I am not the best of girls in the world so I always look for a way out of my problems, and the only way I was going to deal with this problem is if I escaped. So I pulled one of those funny stunts that I have seen in the movies and pretended—I mean feigned to receive an important phone call, all the while praying that as I walked out, the phone would not actually ring while it was on my ear. Anyway, I got into the first cab I laid my eyes on and headed straight for a bar.But as you can imagine when a day is set out to be bad, it is fate—you cannot fight fate. I settled myself at the counter, which is my favourite spot at the bar and ordered my favourite drink-Amstel. I congratulated myself upon escaping successfully from a bad date, when my eye caught a very hot guy seated across the bar picking his nose. OKAY...REALLY! As if I had not had enough for one day, this dude decided to walk up to me putting out his hand in an attempt to shake mine. I will not describe the look on my face but you can imagine it was priceless. The other priceless thing was his cheesy pickup line—I hear, “do I know you, because you look a lot like my next girlfriend.” Oh come on dude, you just picked your nose in public plus what happened to a simple “hello” and some breath mints please, do not come flushing out your beer-tainted breath hoping to leave with the magic digits that will let you see me again.