Competition in a relationship is not healthy

There is nothing as bad as when two people who share same goals in life begin to compete in weird ways. Too much competing in the relationship isn’t healthy. Trying to push each other to achieve greater things is not bad at all but always trying to achieve the targets as a couple and as a team is important. Competition is part of life. We started being competitive when we started school and we compete at the workplace. It is a great motivator. Without it there would have no reason to work hard. It’s a way of gauging progress. But competition in a relationship should be minimal and it should not affect it. Its usually people with low self-esteem, with major difficulties in relationships with their partners, who end up competing in everything they do. It’s as a result of being unable to establish healthy boundaries or limits with people. It worsens when the woman in the relationship earns more than the man. With men having egos as big as the globe, if they have low self esteem, they are likely not to digest the fact that their partner earns more than them. Thus if they don’t become grumpy, they decide to compete in unnecessary issues. I over heard a group of young men saying they would not marry a girl who earned more than them. They further added that it was because they believe a woman who earns more than a man doesn’t respect her man. I almost walked to their table to talk some sense into them.They were too naïve to understand that respect is not derived from monetary terms but instead it is attained from good personal traits. I’m sorry to say but its people with low self esteem who would feel this. In most cases people with low self-esteem are dependent on other people’s approval and recognition and are therefore fearful of rejection by and conflict with others. Many times we engage in competitive behaviors without even realizing it. Thus allowing our emotions to drive our actions. This often causes harm or insult to our friends, siblings and spouses. In many cases, it is up to us to decide whether engaging in competition with our partners is a healthy thing.