Jobseeker’s Diary

Ever dated a stingy guy? I did a couple of years ago and it was painful. I wouldn’t call myself a gold-digger since I rarely take money from men. But that guy was too much. We dated during my Second Year at University and while I’m not materialistic, there were times I wanted to buy a nice pair of shoes or cool Jeans. Having just got tuition from my parents, I felt guilty about asking for more money to buy these other things. Then it occurred to me that I had a boyfriend. Some girls ask for houses, cars or plush furniture. All I was asking for was a little money, right? Apparently not. First of all, I had a problem asking. How do you just tell a guy you want money? So I turned to throwing hints. For instance if we were walking past a Boutique, I would stop for a few minutes, look longingly at a dress or bag then sigh at how high the prices were. The guy would just laugh and note how women just love clothes! There was also my hair talk. You know how campus girls obsess with their hair? Well, I wasn’t an exception and looking back now, I think I spent most of my “pocket money” at the salon. Anyway, I would ask my guy if he thought I should get a new hairdo, hoping he’d relax his tight fists a little. I never got a coin! We broke up about a year later, not because he wasn’t giving me money but because of several other things we couldn’t agree on. The next guy I dated was very different. I remember on our first date, he got cab or “special” as we call them back home to take me home. Before I left, he pulled out his wallet and said something about refunding my fare to venue of the date. I was impressed but I declined his offer. I quickly realized that the new guy was quite generous. He would always surprise me, sending airtime or buying me lunch without me asking first. I found myself comparing the two guys. Like I said earlier, it’s not that I’m after people’s money but there’s something refreshing about a guy who doesn’t act like there’re tubes of glue in his wallet. A friend of mine just told me about a similar experience. She met what seemed like a nice guy and after a few calls and flirty texts, he took her out. I couldn’t wait to hear all about it the next day, not knowing that my friend wasn’t too eager to recount the proceedings. The guy had ordered just one plate of food for the two of them! To those of you thinking that was a romantic gesture, let me remind you that even married couples order separately when they go out! This guy is just mean. My friend told me she decided there and then to break it off with Mr Stingy. I’ve also heard stories of men who never give girls cash. They’ll buy you anything you want or pay the bills but never give you cash. Strange if you ask me. Others will give you the exact amount you ask for, not a coin more. Another friend was telling me how she once visited a guy and later when she wanted to leave, he offered to push her to her house but because she didn’t want him to see her place yet, she made up some story about having to pass by an aunt’s place first. The guy gave her ‘transport’ alright, only that it was Rwf1, 000, the exact cost of the motor ride to her house. She took the money of course. See my friend believes that a little bit of money is better than nothing at all. To be continued...