The Hater:I hate people who…

…still ask questions yet it is 2012 and there is Google. Some people do not realise how they expose their endemic ignorance each time they ask questions whose answers can simply be found by going to the Google website. If you are on the internet and you ask someone a question like, “who is Usain Bolt” then you need to be slapped with a heavy laptop. Each time you ask a question whose answer you would have gotten from Google then you are simply broadcasting you cyber ignorance. You do not deserve to be alive in this era of technology. Please find a job at the post office to sort mail. …continue talking loudly when I am trying to watch something on TV. The reason why you are reading this is because I am paid to write it. I wish I was paid to be rude so I could scream at people who continue talking when I am trying to watch something on TV. It is funny how some can think that the gossip they have is going to compete with my love for Al Jazeera or BBC. Is it so hard to keep your lips hugging each other for some time, until, the commercials or something boring comes on TV like farming documentaries on RTV. …spend so much time at the ATM. I don’t know someone would enter the ATM booth only to spend ages doing tasks that I suppose were automated to save time. I wonder what these idlers do when they get to that machine. Do they ask for money in coins, over drafts or what? Even if you wanted the maximum amount it should not take more than two minutes before you are done. I think the people who spend ages at the ATM should have their cards confiscated and replaced with old bank pass books. …think a toothpick is a facial accessory. I am talking about those imbeciles who eat food, then go ahead to grab a toothpick and keep it in their mouth for hours and hours. It is also annoying that these jokers will use toothpicks even if all they got from the restaurant was a bottle of mineral water! These fools walk out of the restaurant with the toothpick hanging out of their mouth as if to announce to their village mates that they have tasted some beef. On a serious note these people should see a dentist or a metal health specialist if they think they have to walk around with something that belongs in the trash can, hanging off their lips. …speak on phone without considering those around. The other day, I was in a certain office when I overheard someone speaking on phone. This gentleman who is one of the bosses in the company was busy shouting while making an order for some food. The way he kept shouting “Shirawo n’omumbati” (put some cassava) almost made me wonder whether this cassava was going to be used in the next board meeting. It turns out the guy was starving after hours behind a computer screen and was now letting the whole world know what he wanted to eat. I wonder why he could not step aside and whisper this Myubati stuff from a distance. At the end of the day I had to just hate this hungry joker. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293