Dear Aunt Kiki,I am a married woman and a mother of one. Early last month I came across a school receipt of a very expensive school, in my husband’s trousers. One thing that puzzled me is that my children do not go to this school. I have been hiding the receipt since then and I believe the name on the receipt is a child’s name because he uses my husband’s surname. I have been thinking to go to the school and inquire about it, but my sixth sense is cautioning me otherwise. I am very sure this receipt belongs to a child that my husband had with another woman, what should do I do to find out the truth? I have tried to show my unhappiness by being naggy and snappy but he is not getting it.RobertaDear Roberta,Everybody has a secret, even to those who seem like they have none. Unfortunately, it hurts when you are married and you find that your partner has been busy elsewhere behind your back. Nonetheless, I am very cautious when an issue involves children. Remember these children do not chose to be born under these circumstances, so please do not go to the school, this situation might get out of hand-and the child be hurt in the process.The only person to be confronted here is your husband. There might be more than just meets the eye, having a receipt of a school is not confirmation that whoever’s name is on the receipt is your husband’s other child.Maybe you are still young in marriage, but let me give you a piece of advice more especially when you are dealing with men. Men are not very good in reading moods, they will look at you and imagine that you are in those days when women are moody and leave you alone, unless you tell him the exact problem, you risk hurting yourself even further.Just a simple advice would suffice in your case; because we are not sure at this point whether that child belongs to your husband or not. Why not give him a date and sort out your issues – by talking to him directly. You might sit there and wait forever thinking that he is going to tell you something, and unless you bring up the subject, he might as well go with the secret to his grave.When it comes to such issues be ready for any answer, because you might go to the discussion table with your head high thinking that you will expect good news, only for you to be disappointed. Just go with an open mind, whatever comes your way, take it positively. Believe you me; there are women with serious problems than having to deal with children born outside of marriage.Remember that there is also forgiveness. At times it does not matter how wronged we are, we must always find it in our hearts to forgive; we are told that he who forgives will be forgiven.The ball is in your court, but play cautiously. Keep in mind that nothing is worth your family; every woman takes pride in her family; at times no matter how grave a situation is, you must think clearly and weigh down if it is worth it, if it is not, hold your head high and keep on walking. It does not matter how many times you fall, the greatness lies in how fast you are able to gather yourself and walk tall once again.
