Skeletons in the Closet: Discovering a spouse’s other children

1989 was the year Jane Kayihura, ( not her real name) a teacher in a secondary school in Kigali got married to her husband Jeff Kayihura, a prominent business man dealing in imported home accessories. They lived in Ugandan and later moved to Rwanda in 2000. After 12 years of marriage and raising three children—a son and two daughters—Jane was confident she knew her man so well. “Our marriage was the most amazing thing in my life and everything seemed great,” Jane said.“One day in 2002, I discovered a picture in Jeff’s wallet of a boy about the age of 15 years, and a girl of a round the same age. When I asked him about his new findings, he said he found it on the ground and no one claimed it when he asked around. Since the kids were so cute, he had to kept it,” jean explained. Her utmost trust in her husband made her believed the story. Four years later after the photo incident, everything started getting weird for Jane. Her amazing fantasy of a happy marriage begun to fade as more puzzles kept surfacing in their marriage. Jeff’s business trips increased and their communication wasn’t as authentic.Nabbed “It never occurred to me that he could be cheating,” Jane says. “The truth was unveiled when he one day told me he was going to Senegal and then a close friend of mine bumped into him in Kabuga (located in Kigali’s outskirts).“I didn’t believe what my friend said because it just seemed impossible. So I decided to call his work place and I was told he had worked on Friday. Yet he had left for Senegal on a Wednesday,” Jane narrated.Jane had no guts to confront her husband and so she solicited for her older brother Alex’s help. When Alex went on his ‘investigative’ journey to Kabuga, he unfortunately missed finding Jeff at his other home. However, his trip wasn’t in vain as he was welcomed into the house by the teenage boy and girl—who looked just like his brother-in-law. Framed family photos with Jeff smiling face next to the kids were plastered all over the living room. This was enough evidence that he had another family. Following this discovery, Alex spent five hours without responding to his sister’s phone calls. He preferred to confront Jeff first. “Alex didn’t want to hurt me and decided to talk to my husband first. The long day of waiting seemed like a year, but finally they both came home and Alex left us immediately, so we could talk,” Jane said as she nodded her head.Jeff’s apologies fell on deaf ears. “I did not want to hear anything he said. All I did was cry in my room when he wasn’t around,” Jane said.Out of anger, they lived in the same house for two months and wothout talked. “One day, out of the blue, he uttered a statement that made me listen. He said they had no mother and he was all they had. I felt so sorry but betrayed,” Jane said. To cut a long story short, Jane finally forgave her husband.Jane’s greatest challenge came when they had to introduce his secret children to those at home. This did not go as bad as she expected.“I have found it amazing to raise these children as mine and they call me mummy as well. I love them and they are bright kids at school. I am not only their teacher but their mum too ,” Jane said.Living with children that may not be yours is an amazing thing and taking care of them like your very own is more added blessings. Think about you not being there and someone taking care of your children, then do it like you would have wanted them to do it.