A visit to the land of Buja Boys

I have always told you that my nose was created to sniff out any opportunities that could make my pockets happy. That is why I have now embraced the IT catchword. I am not going to try and impress Rwandans about IT development. This is because Rwanda has already taken long strides towards total telecommunications solutions. Instead, I have decided to take my Diaspoself to new markets where I feel that the IT talk has not yet taken hold. I have therefore decided to pay a visit to the land where people chant and dance to the tunes of the ever famous Buja Boys. Apart from the IT factor, there are basically three other main reasons as to why I have decided to visit the land of Buja Boys. First reason is that this country is just around the corner and hence cheaper to visit. Second reason is that the citizens of this land share our culture. Third reason is that this land boasts of real Amstels. Here, the Amstels are much taller and bigger than the Kigali ones. So with this in mind, I set out to visit the one and only; Bujumbura! My mission was to go and identify potential IT clients. My market research had revealed to me that some offices still used manual methods for computing their statistics. I was informed that some of the folks down there insist on preparing their payroll in Microsoft Word instead of Microsoft Excel. That is why you would find a payroll clerk busy typing the salaries on a Microsoft Word document before pulling out his electronic calculator to add up the numbers. With my original SFB experience, I feel that I can make some petty cash if I could get the chance of showing the payroll clerks how to use Microsoft Excel to drag formulas and link data in a matter of minutes. I feel that I can borrow a flash disk from Kigali and take it over to Buja and pretend that this small gadget can solve all the problems of the whole wide world. I told myself that this small flash disk would convince people out there that I was indeed a tough looking IT expert who can use a small mobile phone to produce huge reports. With this small flash disk, I was able to copy and save huge excel models which I would use to demonstrate to my future clients. I also saved some Power point files to help me impress upon these folks who love the sounds of Buja Boys’ Maisha ni Party! However, my attempts to borrow a Laptop were fruitless. No one was willing to lend his or her laptop to a poor Diaspoman lest he disappeared to the DRC via the Lake Tanganyika. My next step was to acquire business cards. I made sure that my cards would be very attractive in terms of quality and content. That is why I paid a visit to an old friend who owns a stationary shop. I begged him to print 100 business cards. I told him to be patient as I would pay him his full amount plus interest as soon as I returned from Buja. He instantly agreed and proceeded to inscribe the following words; Diaspoman – Specialist in IT matters based in Kigali, Kampala, Dubai and beyond. We then inserted a nice looking logo at the top corner of the business card. It was a logo showing pictures of laptops, desktops and printers. Our payoff line read something like this; with us you are second to none. We added a combination of colours so as to make the cards resemble a Christmas tree. In my mind, I was sure that once I arrived in Buja, the citizens would be floored at the mere sight of my madowa dowa cards. Once everything was covered, I set off for my mission. I had already contacted an old acquaintance in Bujumbura who had promised to avail me accommodation. He then asked me a question which left me a little bit envious; “At what time will you be arriving at the Bujumbura International Airport?” Ha! Airport? Wayikulahe se? My Buja host had obviously believed that I was a real consultant who carried real money and could therefore travel by real air! In order not to change his already big perception of my Diaspoself, I assured him that my partner would pick me up from the airport. As soon as I hung up on the phone, I dashed straight to the Nyabugogo taxi park to buy a one way ticket to Bujumbura. This ticket would not enable me board the Rwandair Express 20 minute flight to Buja. Instead, this bus would take me through Gitarama, Ruhango, Nyanza, Butare, Akanyaru, Kayanza, Bukeye, Bugarama, Kamenge and finally to Bujumbura. Phew! I was in for a really long journey. With my little cash, I bought myself a packet of biscuits and a bottle of Inyangye apple juice. We were ready to cruise. All I can say now is; Bujumbura, here I come…