AUNT'S CORNER

My husband and I have been married for eight years. Early last year my youngest sister came and has been living with us ever since. On two occasions my house help has told me about seeing my husband and sister in a compromising manner but I quickly dismissed her. One day I came home from work earlier than expected and found them in each other’s arms. I was devastated and up to now I don’t know what to do with both of them. Please, advise.ScholasticaDear Scholastica,Without much ado, the first person to be out of your home is that sister of yours. She should be the one to protect your interests but it looks like she is the first person to stab you in the back, even after you took her in and took care of her.I have always said that men are visual creatures-most of the time they like what they see, more especially if what they are seeing looks nice. It needs a courageous woman to say no to a man’s demands. Most of the time women fall prey to men and end up crying for the rest of their lives. Your sister is not an exception here, she fell into a trap. The only wrong thing is that she agreed to this clandestine relationship with her brother-in-law. Sometimes men behave like wild animals, when they see a woman their taste buds start itching! And it is even worse when the woman who is being approached has feet made of clay- one who cannot say no! Your sister ought to leave your house as soon as possible so that you can be able put your house in order. She is not the kind of person that you would want to expose your children to.You know sometimes it is good to face facts; it is true that this man has belittled you by having a relationship with your sister; but do you think ending your marriage will make you feel any better? Do you know that if you walk out of your matrimonial home and leave your children behind, they are the one’s to suffer? Do you also know that you can walk out today and tomorrow another woman comes in to take your place? Think before you leap my dear, marriage is not a bed of roses, neither is it a bed of thorns-it is what you make of it that will help you live your life to the fullest with little worries. Every woman has a tale to tell about her man; but it is the ability to persevere and the love for our families that makes most women turn a blind eye to such things.We are told that if life offers you lemon, try and make lemonade out of it. This is an experience that no woman would like to go through, but then it has happened and you cannot change the hand of time. Discuss this issue with your partner and see where you both went wrong, see it in your heart that you forgive him-and forge a better future for the good of your family.kayitesius@yahoo.comDear Aunt SilviaMy husband and I have been married for eight years. Early last year my youngest sister came and has been living with us ever since. On two occasions my house help has told me about seeing my husband and sister in a compromising manner but I quickly dismissed her. One day I came home from work earlier than expected and found them in each other’s arms. I was devastated and up to now I don’t know what to do with both of them. Please, advise.ScholasticaDear Scholastica,Without much ado, the first person to be out of your home is that sister of yours. She should be the one to protect your interests but it looks like she is the first person to stab you in the back, even after you took her in and took care of her.I have always said that men are visual creatures-most of the time they like what they see, more especially if what they are seeing looks nice. It needs a courageous woman to say no to a man’s demands. Most of the time women fall prey to men and end up crying for the rest of their lives. Your sister is not an exception here, she fell into a trap. The only wrong thing is that she agreed to this clandestine relationship with her brother-in-law. Sometimes men behave like wild animals, when they see a woman their taste buds start itching! And it is even worse when the woman who is being approached has feet made of clay- one who cannot say no! Your sister ought to leave your house as soon as possible so that you can be able put your house in order. She is not the kind of person that you would want to expose your children to.You know sometimes it is good to face facts; it is true that this man has belittled you by having a relationship with your sister; but do you think ending your marriage will make you feel any better? Do you know that if you walk out of your matrimonial home and leave your children behind, they are the one’s to suffer? Do you also know that you can walk out today and tomorrow another woman comes in to take your place? Think before you leap my dear, marriage is not a bed of roses, neither is it a bed of thorns-it is what you make of it that will help you live your life to the fullest with little worries. Every woman has a tale to tell about her man; but it is the ability to persevere and the love for our families that makes most women turn a blind eye to such things.We are told that if life offers you lemon, try and make lemonade out of it. This is an experience that no woman would like to go through, but then it has happened and you cannot change the hand of time. Discuss this issue with your partner and see where you both went wrong, see it in your heart that you forgive him-and forge a better future for the good of your family.