Parental culture has changed

The guilt taking over working mothers who leave their children at home each day is overwhelming. Although it’s a mother’s role to make her child’s health a priority, due to different factors it has been affected. With women empowerment becoming reality, some women have shifted parenting responsibilities to house helpers and babysitters because they have to make ends meet. According to Amina N. Wandera, a mother and part-time employee at Peace Photo studio, leaving her child with the babysitter makes her feel awful. “I consider myself lucky compared to other mothers because I work half day as the studio belongs to my husband. But if the four hours I spend at the studio are spent calling the babysitter repeatedly, then I don’t want to imagine what full-time mothers do,” she said. She adds that her stress levels have peaked and one just cannot fully trust their children with other people. Some of these helpers are young and lack motherly instincts. When a mother goes to work in the morning and leaves her baby with a babysitter of the sort, she assumes that the baby will get all the attention he/she needs. However, several complaints have been noted of how some babysitters simply turn-on the television and watch soap operas and movies all day, neglecting the children. Brenda Uwase, a single mother and model by profession, says that it feels like you are cheating on your children when you leave them home with the babysitter. “To make sure that they have everything they need, we have no choice but to leave the children with someone else to look after them. As a single mother, I have to cater for my child’s welfare and with the little that I earn, I have to plan for her future,” Uwase explains. Alinda Lillian Munanura’s view does not differ so much from the opinion of other mothers. “I must say, it is very difficult but we have limited options when it comes to our children and careers. Sometimes I cannot concentrate at work, because I personally keep wondering if my son has eaten, bathed and so on. It’s even harder if the baby sitter is careless,” Munanura states. According to Stephen Mugisha, the President of Rwanda Book Development Initiative, mothers play a big role in the psychological growth of a child. “Children are best left with their mothers but reality is a painful experience because working mothers have no choice in the matter,” Mugisha explains. He also says that, with the current standards of living, both parents have to work to maintain support of the family. “For instance, if a mother extends her maternity leave from three, to may be, six months because she wants to fully look after her baby, she could end up losing her job, thus affecting the well-being of her family,” Mugisha said. Despite the current state in parenting, people need to be encouraged to dispense their responsibilities as parents. Any free time spent with your child is always a bonus. Doreen.umutesi@newtimes.co.rw