“Caught in Own Trap”

These are the days when many of us are busy “licking our wounds”, not that we have fallen down and bruised ourselves but because the times have fallen and we have gotten bruised! Didn’t they used to say that, “when two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers”? Times have changed and now both the two “elephants” and the grass can now suffer! Having survived the past year and equally gone through the so called “world economic crisis”, here we are moving with all sorts of bruises as a result of the above! Of course, Christmas and end of year festivities notwithstanding, our pockets are left with nothing one would call money! Following the return of the children to school for the beginning of the new academic year, we were still made to dig deeper and deeper in the already depleted pockets for whatever dimes that may have taken refuge in the pocket hems! All that said and done, life has to go on; we cannot sit and moan about all that. Many of us somehow find a way of getting our daily doses of ARMSTELS PRIMUS, and MUTZIG, name it. What matters is getting them and not how! I always wonder as to why, members of the opposite gender tend to think that we are always loaded even when we are not? Maybe it is as a result of many of our brothers that are always out there to impress. Even when they are dying, they can never say so! This time round, I had gone to new found darling of places known as FoEyes for a bottle or two and would retire thereafter. Two ladies came by, greeted me and decided to take seats at my table. Gafaranga (Gafa) had called me earlier in the afternoon and asked if we could meet at FoEyes and here I was. Cowards die many times but live longer to tell their stories; seeing the looks of the visitors, my heart missed a beat. First of all, I did not have enough cash on me, I was Gafa’s guest and here was a pair of very dry throats looking upon me, what if the “chainkeeper” walked in and found me with such company? Many questions began racing through my mind! Sometimes, being smart can be better than being rich! I wondered whether Gafa had laid the trap for me or not, I had to get out of here alive no matter what the circumstances may be! One of the ladies bagan getting closer to me and talking to me in a manner that suggested that she knew me well! If I had swallowed many ARMSTELS, I would have thought that my memory was failing me but I was sure it wasn’t! As far as I was concerned, I was to pay for my drinks only, full stop! The duo began by ordering for a quarter of Justein&Brooks (aka J&B), that cost nearly 5K; I had already taken drinks to the tune of Rwf4,000, I was left with just a few more thousands, not enough to extinguish the fire from these ladies’ throats! I excused myself and went for a short call; no harm in that! While in the Gents, I beckoned one of the waiters to come over and he did. I quickly discharged my bill and briefed him on the fact that, I had been intruded upon! I gave him a handsome tip and told him to wait for 5 minutes and then he comes in with a rescue plan. I went back to the table and then found that, theladies had ordered for “Nyama Choma”. One of them asked me if I minded about them making an order in my absence! Of course not, I told them! Why mind anyway? Five minutes later, there was the hooting of a car horn and the waiter came running to my table; “Excuse me Sir, you have parked in front of someone and he wants to leave, can you kindly come and give way”. Of course, only foolish drivers do not give way! I excused myself and went straight to the parking area and reversed a bit, the gate was already open, vroooooom, vroooom, vrooooooom went the engine of my car and in a minute or so, I was just speeding towards the Kimironko main road, trying to run as fast as the old car could go, lest the intruders caught up with me! mfashumwana@fastmail.fm