Would separation be the sentence for a partner with an addiction to drugs and alcohol?

Can drug or alcohol addiction and marriage coexist? What do you do if your spouse or partner is a drugs or alcohol addict? If you’re married to an alcoholic or drug addict, there are different ways of making the marriage survive. You need to understand how best to deal with the problem affecting your relationship and the ways in which you can get your spouses’ life back on track. In an interview with The New Times, Cliff Owuor, Head coach for APR’s men Basketball team, discourages dumping a life partner because of an addiction. “An addiction should not be the reason for separation. One has to encourage their spouse to go for rehabilitation because that is in fact the time they need you the most,” Owour expresses. He further adds that an addiction should not kill the good things you have built together, for instance a family. “You love people for who they are not for what they do. No one is perfect. If people can try to change for you then why not give the person that chance to change?” Owour discloses. Most resourceful sites on alcoholism and drug addiction say, coping with alcoholism or drug addiction in a marriage is one of the most difficult things to deal with. It also states that there are chances that people with an addiction are in denial about the reality of their problem. Addicts always make excuses for their problems. They only make it obvious that they do have a problem when their life really starts falling apart for instance when they lose a job or get into financial trouble, end up in hospital or even jail. One of the most nagging things that addicts trouble their spouses with, is the countless promises made but never fulfilled. Brad Snyder a nurse (Health worker) at ‘Gardens for Health’ that partnered with the Rwandan Network for People Living with HIV/AIDS, says addictions affect relationships. “If I was dating someone and later discovered that they were drug addicts, it would affect the relationship but that wouldn’t call for separation. What matters is the connection we have,” Snyder explains. He adds that if a partner is committed to quitting the addiction, then there wouldn’t be any call for separation. “I would go ahead and date someone with a drug or alcohol addiction if there is a chance of a healthy relationship in the future. There are different reasons why people become addicts. It could be a result of feeling unloved. If I offer the love they need then they will lead a purposeful life,” Snyder expresses. doreen.umutesi@newtimes.co.rw.